I have no idea what the hell the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala is, but apparently they have some good drugs there, because just about every celebrity on Earth showed up last night, and here are a few of the distinguished guests:
Jessica Simpson arrived with John Mayer in one of their rare public outings as a couple. Jessica made sure her tits were hanging out, because well, she kinda has to. Look at that face and those hands and tell me that “penectomy” has never came up in her doctor’s office.
Update: The look on that woman’s face in the background cannot be ignored. Thanks, anonymous-whoever-you-are in the comments area!
Of course Lindsay Lohan was going to show up. She would get fisted by The Hulk if she thought someone would point a camera at her.
I’m not a stylist, but it looks like neither is Scarlett Johansson‘s, because I thought she was supposed to be hot, not look like George Washington.
Thanks old rich guy. Thanks for marrying Salma Hayek. Thanks for turning one of the hottest pieces of ass in Hollywood into some Mexican pregnant lady. The only good thing about these pictures is that she isn’t wearing purple. I’m sure it would get a little weird with everybody asking her if she’s really Ronald McDonald’s best friend.
jessica-simpson-moa-gala
Top 10 Horror Comics
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10. Locke and Key
Who would’ve thought that the son of Stephen King, renowned master of horror, would plant his seed in another human being that would ultimately begin to continue his legacy?
Joe Hill, the writer of IDW Publishing’s Locke & Key, is doing just that. The tale is a story about a family who relocates to a creepy house in a creepy New England town (trust me, it’s not that similar to his dad’s work) after the patriarch is murdered.
From there, the story delves into the unexpected, delivering one of the best new horror comics in the last few years.
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9. Victorian Undead
Sure, it’s a gimmick. But it’s a gimmick that works.
Sherlock Holmes versus zombies (and soon, Dracula!) is the perfect way to spend an hour or two on Halloween. Written by Ian Edginton, an experienced Holmes writer, VitctorianUndead is actually a very intelligent book. He presents all the deduction and whimsical annotations that one would expect from a Sherlock Holmes tale, except there are flesh eating zombies to go along with it.
In theory, it’s something that should be hated and played out, but the clever work from Edginton and grotesque — but lovely — artwork of Davide Fabbri make it stand out from the zombie crowd.
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8. Hellblazer
Created by Alan Moore and Steve Bissette in the midst of their legendary run on Swamp Thing, John Constantine has been a staple of not just horror comics, but comics in general since Hellblazer’s debut in 1988. Tackling mysteries usually occult or otherwise supernatural in nature, Constantine is very much a lovable d-bag that you can’t help but cheer for through his various exploits in the nether. Hellblazer isn’t so much creepy or scary, but instead celebratory of all the bizarre things that go bump in the night.
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7. Werewolf by Night
There are few horror comics that can exist within the mainstream superhero world and feature appearances by established heroes without becoming a joke. While I’m all for good fun and interjecting some horror into the Marvel Universe (Marvel Zombies, the current arc on X-Men), Werewolf by Night was a horror comic starring a hero of the same name that walked the line briskly between true horror and indulging in the main Marvel Universe.
The Werewolf by Night character has a long legacy that’s been built up behind it, including Wolf Gods, Dracula, the Savage Land, Atlantis. If that doesn’t sound like a great horror mythology, I don’t know what does.
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6. Swamp Thing
Another book that existed within the lexicon of a superhero universe, Swamp Thing went from obscure creature to a definitive work of art, spurred on by Alan Moore. Moore and artist Steve Bissette positioned Swamp Thing as a tragedy, creating a very gothic and often terrifying story that weaved in and out of the mainstream DCU. It uses the classic horror elements of comics to create something entirely different.
Swamp Thing is one of those titles that has to be read to be believed. It goes well beyond the horror genre to deliver something else entirely, which is why it makes a great horror comic.
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5. House of Mystery
Be it the current incarnation at Vertigo or the classic DC Comics series, House of Mystery is a staple of the horror comic book world. It began as a horror anthology book, but delved into superheroes for a brief time when sales were down. Ultimately, it founds its footing again once DC started to challenge the Comics Code in 1960s. After the return to its roots, House of Mystery introduced Cain, the house’s caretaker that served as a “host” for the stories. The book found immense success and would eventually lead to some of the best moments in horror at DC.
House of Mystery is also notable for being the first book Karen Berger edited, who would later go on to champion Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing and be instrumental in the creation of Vertigo, now serving as its Executive Editor.
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4. The Warren Publishing Trio
In the 1960s, Warren Publishing was doing something unique in order to work its way around the Comics Code that was implemented to help “protect” children from stability damaging comic books. Instead of traditional horror comics, the Creepy, Eerie, and were anthology books published in a magazine format and sold as a newsstand publication. This allowed it to give the run around to the Comics Code Authority, and history was better off for it. Check out the list of creators that have worked on this trio of books and you’ll be amazed as the talent that left its mark.
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3. The Walking Dead
Oh, you pesky zombies. As much as I detest seeing you everywhere, I still love thee.
Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead from Image Comics re-evaluated the zombies role within comic books, and has given the genre the biggest injection in the arm since Romero’s Dawn of the Dead. Kirkman has built a horrifying tale not about the undead, but very much alive human beings struggling to cope with each other and survival. The horror comes from the human drama and what they do to each other; the zombies are almost irrelevant.
Then again, it’s always awesome to see a zombie get blasted.
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2. Weird War Tales
There are few genres that need an infusion of horror, and war is one of them. War is scary enough.
However, in the aftermath of Vietnam, DC Comics began publishing a horror anthology called Weird War Tales (read A Look at DC Comics and War), a rather satirical look at war and its effects through the guise of horror tales. The series was hosted by Death, always dressed in a soldier’s uniform. Weird War Tales isn’t so notable for the stories themselves, but the implied commentary that came with the very publication of the title. DC somehow managed to avoid trivializing war, instead creating one of the greatest horror anthologies ever to see print.
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1. Tales From the Crypt
As I always say, Tales from the Crypt: accept no substitute. Though Eerie Comics #1 may be recognized as the first true horror comic, Crypt is the series that brought the genre to the forefront of Americana, embellishing violence and sex in a way that enraged pundits and parents, but enthralled children. Tales from the Crypt helped establish EC Comics as the premiere publisher of horror comics, and was instrumental in the formation of the Comics Code, the now useless stamp of approval that assured parents the book their children were reading contained no “harmful” content.
Plus, Tales from the Crypt introduced us to the Crypt Keeper, who would soon become a go-to insult for any elderly person that every pissed us off.
