There Are Two Big Reasons To Watch This Clip From The Marlins Game Last Night

May 11, 2017

Photo: Twitter

Here’s one way to get those little millennial fucks to stop whining about pace of play.

Let’s be honest: The Miami Marlins are a full-blown dumpster fire. But hey, that’s what happens when the owner is the world’s second-largest bag of shit and the franchise’s future tragically dies after crashing a boat into a Miami Beach jetty at 65 m.p.h.

So now that we know the two biggest reasons behind Miami’s pig shit awful 13-20 start, you should understand why setting aside three hours of your day to watch them struggle through nine innings would be a bigger waste of time than attending a Corey Feldman concert.

Well, at least that was the case. Here are two big reasons why you should now be tuning in to every single Marlins home game the rest of the way:

There Are Two Big Reasons To Watch This Clip From The Marlins Game Last Night

Thanks @Marlins @MLB I have become a fan of the Fightin Fish! pic.twitter.com/ZlBolqkW6V

— Adam King (@adam2king) May 11, 2017

Anybody else have a sudden yearning for a glass or two of whole milk?

The Marlins might have lost again to the Cardinals Wednesday night, but I feel like the rest of us were definitely winners.

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Tommy Gimler is a stand-up comedian, musician, writer, emcee and all-around good guy. He has worked hundreds of stages across the country, including those at The Laugh Factory, The World Famous Comedy Store and dozens of Improvs.

Tommy has had the pleasure of emceeing events for amazing clients such as Budweiser, Mitsubishi, Chase, Discovery, Animal Planet in front of thousands of people at events like the Super Bowl, X Games, U.S. Open, Little League World Series.