In a recent interview with the casting director of the singular greatest ’90s sitcom ever, Friends (take THAT Mad About You), it’s been revealed that Sir Paul McCartney was once offered a guest star role as the dad of Ross’ nearly-bride Emily, in the legendary two-part season four finale, but instead turned it down due to being, well, Sir Paul McCartney, who as we all know, has shit to do right now always.
As proven in his recent collaborations with Kanye West and Rihanna, old mate Macca is a versatile, uber-talented dude who fits in pretty much anywhere he wants, and so it truly was a tragedy that he never appeared on Friends, or heck, any ’90s TV show really.
To prove how adaptable and multi-faceted Sir Paul is, we’ve gone ahead and imagined 7 other roles he would have been perfect in from our favourite ’90s sitcoms.
1. Frasier
Paul McCartney as Caller #3. Frasier Crane gives advice to a caller on his talkback radio show, who is struggling with the divide caused by his best friend’s new girlfriend. This “weird hippie” is causing a whole mess of strife and altering the dynamic amongst his friend group. Frasier suggests he take his mind of it with a new hobby, the mandolin for example.
2. The Nanny
Paul McCartney as Giles Handkerchiefington. When Niles the Butler’s childhood friend Giles visits from England, the pair must settle a decades-long held feud about who can make the better tea. After mixing up heated vodka for water, the duo end up getting absolutely shit-faced with Fran and hug it out.
“Oh Giles, I ever so wish you wouldn’t jam right now.”
3. Sabrina The Teenage Witch
Paul McCartney as Henry Spellman. Sabrina travels back in time, for some reason, and meets her British ancestor Henry Spellman and together with his magical guitar, must defeat an all-powerful walrus to return back to the future. Also there’s a talking pie.
4. Saved By The Bell
Paul McCartney as Mr. Ob LaDi. When the Bayside High’s Music teacher suddenly disappears, the substitute teacher Mr. Ob LaDi takes over his class, but seems to have some whacky ideas about how to teach. Secretly slipping LSD tabs into the student’s water to help inspire them, the Bayside gang go on the ‘trip’ of a lifetime, but things go awry when Screech tries to kill Kelly claiming she’s a “SCORCH DEMON FROM THE BEYOND!”
“Today’s lesson: how to write great songs. Now stick these little tabs under your tongues”
5. Seinfeld
Paul McCartney is Frontsies Man. Whilst in the queue for some of New York’s finest focaccia bread, Jerry gets upset at a man who pushes in front of him, after he steps out of the line for a minute to greet Elaine. The two men commence a heated exchange, including some semi-racist slurs about the man’s background, but it’s totally cool because it’s the 90s. The feud comes to a head as the pair sword-fight with delicious focaccia loaf.
6. Doogie Howser M.D
Paul McCartney is Patient #3. Teen doctor Doogie Howser is perplexed when a patient shows up, suffering from a bout of unexplainable illnesses which no one in the whole hospital can diagnose. Eventually Doogie, With A Little Help From His Friends who Come Together to figure it out during A Hard Day’s Night, discovers that All he Needs Is Love and they all skip through Strawberry Fields Forever, Blackbird, Yellow Submarine.
“What seems to be the problem?” “Well firstly Dr, I seem to have been photoshopped fucking horribly.”
7. 3rd Rock From The Sun
Paul McCartney is the Big Giant Head. Originally the role of the omnipotent king of the galaxy who the Solomon family reported their studies of the human race to was played by William Shatner, but old mate Bill has been on plenty (maybe TOO much if I’m being honest) TV, so this one should’ve gone to Paul. Can you imagine Sir Paul beaming up Harry’s girlfriend Vicky to his ‘bachelor pod’ for sexy times? I sure as hell can.
