Exclusive Interview: Clark Duke on Professional Bowlers

 

It was pretty hard to believe that they made a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine, but Hot Tub Time Machine 2? That’s actually a thing now. It just hit Blu-ray and DVD, so we called up comedian Clark Duke, who co-stars in the sequel about a group of selfish bastards who travel to the future to solve a murder. Duke plays a young man who discovers he eventually becomes a billionaire inventor, sans hair, and gets in a series of misadventures involving smart cars, drugs and offensive futuristic game shows.

But enough about that. We have to talk to Clarke Duke about professional bowlers, Burt Reynolds and those autographed celebrity head shots you always see at the dry cleaners. So enjoy!

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CraveOnline: So, Hot Tub Time Machine 2…

Clark Duke: Yeah, I can’t believe it exists either.

At what point did it seem like you were actually going to make a sequel to Hot Tub Time Machine?

I guess when we got there. I never know until I actually get there. That’s like the moment of truth.

What was the first day of shooting? What scene did you film?

Oh dude, I have no idea. It was like two summers ago. [Laughs.] I don’t know what I had for lunch yesterday. I don’t know what we were doing two years ago.

That’s a long gap between when you shot the film and when it came out. Have you been jogging your memory during the entire press junket process?

You pretend you are. I could pretty much just say anything. Nobody knows. I could have just made something up.

I appreciate your honesty.

Yeah, I’m just being honest. I don’t know what we were doing.

Do you know what you’re doing now? 

Right now I know where I am right this second, yeah. I’m just sitting here in my office. Just on the phone.

What is Clark Duke’s office like? Do you have a writer’s den covered in papers and research material?

It’s just a room in my house that I got. I got a big desk, computer. I got a framed 8×10 of Burt Reynolds on the desk here, autographed.

Is it personalized? Does it say, “To Clark?”

“To Clark, Your Friend, Burt Reynolds.” I want everybody to know that we’re friends. 

It was actually when I was a kid. When I was a kid I worked on this show and the people who made the show did Evening Shade, that Burt was on. They were next door so I’d see him all the time.

He seems like a nice guy.

My experience with him has always been great, yeah. I don’t know him that well or anything. Or at all.

Somewhere out there is a kid with a framed photo of Clark Duke on his desk.

That would be so good. I got a letter the other day. They sent it to my manager’s office, it was obviously in a child’s handwriting, asking for a signed photo. And I don’t have any! I haven’t had a headshot in years. So I wrote her a note, saying I hope this is okay. So maybe on her desk is a little framed note. I don’t really have any photos. I need to get some of these dramatic head shots, like Burt has.

Otherwise, how are people going to know that you’ve been to a certain deli?

Right! [Laughs.] Or which dry cleaners I use.

I always wondered about that. Do celebrities just have pictures in their trunk and sign them?

Yeah, I always wondered about that too because there’s a couple places that have actually asked me, but I don’t go around… There’s a place back home in Arkansas I needed to give one to, but I don’t have photos of myself with me. I always think it’s insane. The ones at the big cleaners are always people that you’ve never heard of. 

So would rock the cleaners. People would be all over that. “Oh! Clark Duke! He’s number one!”

I don’t know if you want to be the most famous guy on the cleaner’s head shot wall though. That’s like being the world’s most famous professional bowler or something.

Let’s not slight the bowlers. That’s a tough gig.

[Laughs.]

I can picture it right now, the backlash: “Clark Duke Slams Bowlers!” You’d get all these horrible tweets.

I like watching the pro bowling on ESPN. It’s the funniest. The crowd reactions, everyone there is so pumped. It’s like Kingpin but dead serious. [Pause.] Please don’t misquote me that I’m badmouthing professional bowlers.

I’m not going to do that. What a dick would I be.

[Laughs.]

You’d have to make some kind of bowling PSA to make up for it.

Nah, I wouldn’t do that much. At that point, fuck ‘em. I don’t really care.

What do you have coming up after Hot Tub Time Machine 2?

Right now I’m just working on Croods 2 and some stuff that I’m working on, that I’m writing.

I imagine Croods 2, being voice-over work, they just call you up and you have a bagel and talk into a microphone?

Pretty much! That’s about the size of it, yeah.

That’s a good gig if you can get it.

It’s a pretty great gig, and the movie was really great.

Can you tell me about what you’re writing? I know a lot of people are really superstitious about that.

Eh, not really. 

That’s fine. I’ll just be disappointed.

[Laughs.] You know, I mean it’s nothing worth talking about – like I said – until you’re on set. 

Let me ask you this: are you writing comedies or serious dramatic work?

The thing I’m working on right now is actually more of a drama. It’s like a crime thing.

Do you write these sorts of things for you to act in, or is that all academic right now?

I wrote myself a part in it, but I really just want to direct it. That actually what I want to do. I directed something last week for Funny or Die, and I started doing more stuff for them. Just trying to branch out a little.

I know you directed a lot of stuff online, but you haven’t directed a feature before, right?

No.

Do you think you have the ins to get that done easily, or will that be tricky to move into?

Well, it’s all a matter of the financing. That’s what I’m dealing with right now.

What is dealing with the financing like? Do you have to hobnob a lot? How does that work?

I don’t know. I’ve got a good producer. The guy who did Hot Tub 2 is actually producing. But it’s just seems like such a weird world, like getting a small amount of money to make something. I think it all just comes down to casting, getting X or Y to be in the movie to ease sales in these markets, that kind of stuff. A lot of boring stuff.

But you’ve got Clark Duke, so there’s a start.

That’s what I keep saying! [Laughs.] 

What would you like someone to ask you that they never ask you?

What I would like for lunch.

What would you like for lunch, Clark Duke?

I don’t know. That’s the problem. In-N-Out Burger sounds pretty good.

Animal style?

No. No onions, no.


William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and the host of The B-Movies Podcast. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.

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