It never fails. Even in this era of unparalleled free speech, social media and supposed tolerance, every single time I bring up the topic of Shaft in a casual or professional conversation, someone always – always – tells me to shut my mouth.
But ladies and gentlemen, I am just talking about Shaft. And while most people seem to agree that Shaft is indeed a black private dick who is also a sex machine to all of the chicks (and they would of course be damn right), I always seem to run into problems eventually as the conversation continues.
For after all, who is the man who would risk his neck for his brother man? The answer of course would be “John Shaft,” played ably by actor Richard Roundtree in three motion pictures and a short-lived TV series in the 1970s.
And that of course begs the further question: who is the cat who will not cop out when there is danger all about? And once again, dear readers, the answer can only be Shaft. Surely, we can all dig that too. Clearly, this assessment is right on.
Yet where I and many of my peers seem to repeatedly fall into trouble is when we bring up the oft heard report, that this cat, Shaft, is a bad mother. At this point, the most common reply I always seem to hear is, “Shut your mouth!”
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Although it is generally considered rude to interrupt, it is also (apparently) considered much more impolite to discuss the topic of Shaft in great detail, and especially to suggest – or even carefully broach the topic of these whispers heard most often – that Shaft may be a great many things, but a good mother may not be one of them.
It is easy to see why so many would leap to Shaft’s defense. When Shaft ably rescued Bumpy Jonas’s daughter from the Italian mafia in 1971, it could indeed be considered somewhat parental behavior. But where, might I ask, was John Shaft when Marcy Jonas needed help with her geometry homework? And was it John Shaft who sat Marcy down and gently taught her the birds and the bees?
Well, possibly, but I suspect that their exchange would have been somewhat less than maternal in nature. For when it comes to the matter of human sexuality, John Shaft has been described as more machinelike than anything, has he not?
So no, I will not “shut my mouth,” and neither should you. These are the things we don’t talk about when we talk about Shaft. I suspect that the man who all but singlehandedly dismantled a West African human trafficking ring in 1973 can weather the slings and arrows of this mild criticism about his single, solitary failing: motherhood.
I will grant you that Shaft is indeed a complicated man, and perhaps – just perhaps – no one can understand him but his woman. But ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that I really am just talking about Shaft. Maybe the time has come to ask yourselves if you can really dig it after all.
William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and the host of The B-Movies Podcast and The Blue Movies Podcast. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
