The Witch is the pioneer farmer occult horror movie of Sundance. Yeah, it’s not for me. I’m sure it’s very authentic to the life of New England farmers in the 1600s, but then I would have to care about New England farmers in the 1600s for the horror of their subsequent plight to impact me.
Based on actual folk tales of the era, a family of seven live on their farm in 1630 New England. When their infant child disappears before their oldest daughter Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy)’s eyes, more bad stuff starts to happen. Being a religious family, witchcraft is not ruled out as a cause.
The authenticity of the details makes The Witch even more impenetrable to me. You get to watch the patriarch William (Ralph Inson) corral his wayward goat. He speaks in a gravely voice the whole time he teaches his son to hunt. It’s a really boring life, and that’s valid to pioneers’ struggles, but it seems being plagued by witches is the most interesting thing that could happen to them in a movie.
The horror presumably comes from the notion of evil penetrating this simple life, but the way the film plays its scares is obnoxious. Jump scares aren’t from creatures jumping out. They’re for Thomasin shouting “boo” at a baby. This may be an early sound mix, and it may be the screening venue, but the sound is pushed just far enough into the red to hurt your ears when she playfully shouts. And it’s not just one game of peekaboo. She does it four times in a row. The kids who are too young to work run around singing a song that gets on your nerves like today’s kids singing “Wheels on the Bus” over and over.
There’s a lot of cryptic talking throughout, and perhaps the idea is that hysteria leads to violence. When it pays off though, it’s not the terrifying realization of inevitability. It’s more overblown hysterics. There’s an extended scene where one of the boys is writhing around in fever or possession, and like the boo sounds, it’s just loud and grating. There’s a place for aggressive sound design, but it’s very easy to make someone uncomfortable sonically. That’s not the same as crafting an effective tone.
The film is all overcast gray, which may also be authentic to the desolate wilderness of 17th century America. The language they speak has hints of old English. It’s certainly reigned in so that modern audiences can follow it, but hearing little kids speak in “thee” and “thou” drew attention to the fact that they taught little kids how to speak old-timey.
Look, I’m happy for the filmmakers. They got into Sundance and if people liked their movie, great. It wasn’t for me on a fundamental level, so that’s an aesthetic difference I have to own and articulate. It will ultimately land on VOD where other viewers who share the aesthetic can enjoy it. It’s not going to be the next Saw, although if they did make it up to The Witch 7 I might give it a second chance.
Fred Topel is a staff writer at CraveOnline and the man behind Best Episode Ever and The Shelf Space Awards. Follow him on Twitter at @FredTopel.
