Work parties are deceiving. You think of the word “party” and it probably puts you in a certain headspace. Drinking, relaxing, having fun, being with friends… These are all things that happen at parties, not work parties. Your office holiday party is a bit more like a gauntlet than your average get together. But have no fear! We’ll help you navigate those shark-infested waters like the pros.
Just don’t do any of the following…
What Not to Do at Your Company Christmas Party
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Play a Party Game Against Your Boss
It’s a trap. No seriously, it is. If you beat your boss at any sort of game, you are setting yourself up for a seriously tough time. But if you think that losing to him on purpose is going to get you an edge, you are sorely mistaken. Who wants someone on his team that gives up? Try standing on the sidelines and watching the suckers who take the bait.
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Do Drugs
This one should be pretty obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people make the mistake of trying to liven up their office parties by taking a little something extra. Trust us, we get why you’d want to do it. But the risk involved with this one – even if no police officers get involved – far outweighs the benefits. So do like they say in grade school, and stay drug free!
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Play a Prank on that Guy You Hate
Another ridiculously tempting notion is to pull a The Office-style prank on that dude who bugs the crap out of you. Just to be clear, this will never work out well, especially if he’s had a few drinks. Think about it. Say it goes off without a hitch, he gets super upset and probably calls you out on it because who else would want to make him look like an idiot? And if it doesn’t work correctly? You just have to pray that nobody else ends up taking the brunt of it…
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Drink Yourself into Oblivion
This one is a bit tricky because it can end up happening before you realize it. The stress that’ll cause you to drink hits a perfect climax at a work party. Your boss is there, awkward small talk with co-workers is terrible and you probably won’t get that big project off your mind… So just take it slow, one beer at a time. And when you get to number 3, just think about nursing that one for a good long while.
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Vent
You would think the office party is the perfect time to do this, right? The alcohol is flowing, everyone is tired and ready for a break and you’ve probably just finished up with some crazy hours to hit that end of the year target. Why not blow off some steam and start trashing everything and everyone who’s been bugging you? In any other situation, venting would be the way to go on this one. But just hold it in for a few hours. Trust us, it will all make sense when you watch somebody else end up doing it...
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Decide to Hit on That Coworker You Have a Crush On
Just like venting, you probably think the holiday party is the perfect time to finally make your move on that cute girl who works across the hall. This is not the case. As a matter of fact, you are better off asking her politely, at the office if she wants to go grab a coffee or something. Why? Because it’s a lot easier to get blamed for sexual harassment (and rightfully so) when you’re at a party and you’re full of booze.
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Talk to People About Upcoming Work Projects
No. We shouldn’t have to explain this one. Just don’t be that guy.
