For many, college is a transformative experience. The life lessons you can learn from a few years spent languishing in a permanent hangover, hopelessly attempting to meet deadlines whilst typing out gibberish on a MacBook on a bed coated in mysterious stains, are surprisingly plentiful. For some, college is simply a means to obtaining a better career in a time where job prospects are slim. For many, college is a way of meeting new people and having lots of sex.
But before you’re thrust into the perilous wilderness that is higher education, there are some things you should consider when it comes to dating and college. Here’s our guide on how to entertain girls in your home away from home.
Clean Your Room You Dirty Dog
College is a way of finally getting away from your parents and living life as a totally independent human being (save for the government loan you’ll be receiving, but hey, after making your way through puberty, you’ve earned that shit), though for many independence simply means being as slovenly as humanly possible.
While the prospect of not cleaning up your crap and leaving your room to look like the inside of Oscar the Grouch’s trash can may sound empowering, this isn’t going to impress many females. How many girls have you heard that have said the most attractive quality in a man is his ability to sleep in a room that smells like a foot? If you’re going to “entertain” any girls in your room, you best make sure that it’s as spotless as it possibly can be.
Host a Party…
Confidence is attractive, and a great way to show that you’re a confident, sociable guy is to host a party. Unfortunately, while this sounds easy to pull off in theory, in actuality is requires some preparation. Yes, preparation isn’t what you’ve come to college for, as your haphazardly strewn together luggage will attest to (seriously, 20 different pairs of sneakers and only 3 pairs of underwear? What’s wrong with you?) but if you want to entertain a girl you like, there’s nothing more entertaining than a bunch of people drunkenly throwing ping-pong balls into solo cups. No one quite knows why beer pong is so popular (just drink your f***ing drink and stop throwing balls into it!) but it is, and it at least makes for a talking piece.
College is all about meeting new people, and it’s rare that you’ll walk out of a party without making a few new friends. Your chances of doing this increases when you’re the host, and these people HAVE to be nice to you if they want to stay and raid your refrigerator for the huge stock of alcohol you stupidly left in there. Hosting a party is also a great way to get to know the girl more without having to pluck up the courage to formally ask her out on a date, whilst simultaneously projecting yourself as a happy-go-lucky socialite.
…But Don’t Get Too Drunk
Getting obscenely drunk may well be the very thing you’ve gone to college for, but to get so troublesomely plastered when trying to impress a girl will only lead to you beginning your college life with regret – and regret is something that you should only have to confront in your third year, when you’re buried beneath a sea of work.
If you’re looking to entertain a girl in your dorm, then you’re going to want to do everything you possibly can to ensure that you don’t humiliate yourself, which inevitably means that you should limit the amount of booze you consume. Also, limit the amount of booze you give to her, because you don’t want to begin your college life being branded as that creepy fella who tries to get girls drunk.
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