It is time to come to a serious conclusion: they will NEVER stop making Transformers movies. Some may rejoice at that, others may weep for humanity as a whole, but the long and short of it is we simply have to get used to this franchise being a regular part of our lives and start treating them like real movies. We can’t write off the Transformers movies as mindless entertainment if they’re a major driving force in the world economy. They’re important, damn it, and even though the plots are silly enough to include robot dinosaurs we have to start asking ourselves more important questions about the Transformers.
Related: Transformers: Age of Extinction – Exclusive Dinobots TV Spot
We here at CraveOnline have narrowed down our curiosities to five queries about human nature, robot nature, stupid dinosaurs, stupid protagonists and the very future of Michael Bay’s career. Check them out and let us know what you think really matters about the Transformers storylines, characters, themes and this franchise’s impact on the very real people involved.
William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and the host of The B-Movies Podcast and The Blue Movies Podcast. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
Transformers: Age of Extinction - Our 5 Questions
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Will Humans Ever Learn?
It appears that the plot of Transformers: Age of Extinction involves Stanley Tucci trying to take the fight back to the Transformers who nearly destroyed the planet in the previous film. Never mind that the Autobots are the "good" ones. When will humanity finally learn to blindly trust all-powerful aliens? It's not like Optimus Prime ever did anything morally questionable. Which reminds us...
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Does Optimus Prime Feel Bad About Straight-Up Murdering Megatron?
Transformers: Dark of the Moon ended with Megatron defeated and helpless in front of Optimus Prime, and the beloved bastion of self-sacrifice and genuine heroism murdering Megatron in cold blood. At least Superman was actually trying to save innocent lives at the end of Man of Steel. Optimus Prime killed Megatron after the war was won, when he didn't even have to. If they're going to preserve the integrity of this character, Optimus Prime had better feel pretty darn bad about turning into a murderer.
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Weren't the Dinobots Kind of Stupid?
Speaking of integrity, a lot of people are very excited to see the introduction of robot dinosaurs in Transformers: Age of Extinction. We're not denying that the words "robot dinosaurs" makes our inner children stir, but weren't these characters always really stupid to begin with? Like, literally? The Autobots invented them with tiny brains so they would be more dinosaur-like, and never bothered to increase their mental capacity even though they were a clear and present danger to themselves and others. And why even build robot dinosaurs in the first place? Were there dinosaur civilizations that desperately needed to be infiltrated?
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And Where the Hell is Sam?
We're not pretending we ever actually cared about Sam Witwicky, the human protagonist of the first three Transformers movies, but the filmmakers sure seemed to. The last film was all about how he was sick of not being treated like a member of the Transformers team, and now he's just gone? Did they kill him off between movies? If not, how are they going to justify that he's happy with a day job now?
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Will Michael Bay Ever Be Free of This Franchise?
Michael Bay has made five movies in the last seven years, and four of them were Transformers. Audiences and critics alike seem content to let Michael Bay ghettoize himself in the realm of expensive toy commercials, but doesn't he want more for himself than this? He made it clear in Pain & Gain that he still wants to make more interesting motion pictures than ones in which giant robots fight each other. Would it kill the Transformers movies to let another filmmaker take over? And what could Michael Bay accomplish with all his box office clout and connections, but without the studio-driven need to pander to children the whole time? He's already rich, so can't he do at least a little better than this...?
