Sex Advice from Porn Stars: Kelly Shibari

Sex Advice from Porn Stars is a weekly column on CraveOnline where we’ll be getting sex tips from the most sexually knowledgeable people in the world…  Porn Stars!

Kelly Shibari is one of the most interesting porn stars we’ve featured in this column thus far. A plus-size woman herself, Kelly champions size acceptance and frequently discusses the ins and outs of plus-size sex. 

With that being said, we thought it’d be a great idea to have her share her wisdom on plus-size sex, along with a number of other sexual topics, in this week’s Sex Advice from Porn Stars column.

On Whether Being Plus-Sized Has its Disadvantages When Having Sex…

Not necessarily! I know plenty of plus size men and women who are extremely limber. In terms of basic, nerdy ergonomics, I think that things like bellies might get in the way of some positions, but they’re so easy to work around – instead of standard body-on-body missionary, for instance, the guy could easily stand and have his girl laying down, with her legs off the edge of the bed. Or the girl can be sideways and the guy can hold up one leg for maximum penetration. They’re actually positions you see a lot in porn, go figure! 

On the Advantages of Being Plus-Sized…

Besides the extra cushioning? I think that’s the main advantage – we’re cushy, soft, and plushy! It means that usually many of us can also have sex that’s a little more aggressive, since aggressive penetration is buffered with the cushion. It also means you can get a little more creative in the ways to have foreplay – you can play with more parts of the body. Putting a penis between butt cheeks, boobs, and even just between a puffy vulva fold without going inside the vagina, is just not the same with girls with less cushion, you know. 

On Sex Mistakes Men Make…

Not communicating! It’s so important to ask your partner what they like. I think talking is hot – not just the “do you like it?” question, but more the “do you like it when I do this?” makes for more exploration in bed, which can make for amazing sex. And if something you try isn’t, the ability to laugh about it in a healthy way is also a great way to connect and get over any insecurities. 

On How Porn Sex Differs from Regular Sex…

Oh god – where do I start? With porn sex, you stop and go a lot. You do positions on uncomfortable furniture. The guy usually penetrates at an angle so the camera can get a good angle. A lot of it just isn’t comfortable. Plus, you’re working with people you know, but aren’t in a relationship with. You can certainly create on-screen chemistry, but it’s not the same as having sex with a real-life partner. There’s also no cuddling, no naps, and very little foreplay – all of which are so important! And in my case, I don’t usually orgasm on camera – it’s all part of the show. If I really came on set, I’d need a nap…which isn’t good for the scene!

On Which Celebrities She’d Like to Have Sex With…

There are guys I think are pretty to look at, like Ryan Reynolds, Channing Tatum, Nathan Fillion, Christian Kane, Bradley Cooper, Jason Segel. I guess I like guys who are hot but don’t take themselves too seriously and have a wicked sense of humor.

In terms of actresses? Probably Olivia Wilde, Emma Stone, Olivia Munn, Amy Adams, Sofia Vergara. Oh and definitely Scarlett Johanssen. Basically a girl who is down to earth, seems like the type to grab an uncomplicated drink with you, and not be too pretentious…which those ladies seem to be. I might be wrong though. But they seem fun.

On Whether She’d Still Find a Guy Attractive if He Wasn’t Wasn’t Good in the Sack…

I tend not to go for guys who are just attractive. They need to have something else – personality, sense of humor, a desire to enjoy life. If they’re not amazing in bed, it just means we can play and experiment. Regular, repetitive sex is so boring – trying new things means you can both find the things that work for you. Changing it up from time to time is a great way to connect even further too. I think for me, “deal breakers” aren’t really deal breakers – most things are fixable, you know? There’s that whole communication thing again.

On Her Best Sexual Experience…

The best experiences are always the ones where you can think about it later and grin like an idiot for days on end. The ones where you know you connected truly, deeply – it’s not a position thing, or anything like that. It’s where you can completely let go and be yourself

…and Her Worst…

When it’s one-sided. You know, when they have an orgasm but don’t bother to help you with yours? You’re left with this feeling of, “I could have just used a vibrator.”.And it’s so easy to help! Seriously – nothing’s worse than a selfish lover. Actually, nix that – they’re not a lover at all if they’re selfish.

On Her Favorite Sex Position…

Standing missionary. The guy can be a bit more aggressive with me and I can control how deep he goes with my thighs, and I’m able to play with my clit at the same time. It’s really a great position that allows me to orgasm while he’s inside me.

On Her Biggest Turn-On…

A guy who cares enough to ask, and remember.

On Her Biggest Turn-Off…

Bad breath. It’s fixable, but definitely something that will take me out of the moment immediately.

Her Advice to Plus-Size Couples…

Don’t be afraid to show each other your bodies! If you’re in a relationship, it means you found each other attractive. Hiding any of it – having the lights off, wearing a T-shirt during sex, all of that doesn’t allow you to be completely comfortable. Having sex in any way that shows you’re insecure about anything – your body included – means you can’t completely let go. And letting go is the best way to have the best sex. And don’t forget to communicate!