The worst possible line you can use to approach a girl is hands down: “Can I buy you a drink?” You’re actually better off just handing her $20 and walking away.
Why? Because that’s gonna be the end result anyway—you’ll spend the money on drinks, and then you’ll leave alone. So why waste time?
Whenever I give guys this advice, they flip out, arguing there’s no way in hell buying her a drink is a mistake… after all, guys have been doing it forever. True, but that’s not proof of success. Because while it may work every so often, like the old Chinese proverb says, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
So why is offering to buy her a drink such a bad idea? Because while you think it gets you an in with her, and opens up a conversation, it actually sends a slew of wrong messages… some of which you just can’t recover from. (Unless you’re Ryan Gosling, and I’m guessing you’re not.)
Here are the big three wrong messages you send when you offer to buy her a drink:
Wrong Message #1: You have zero creativity, personality or uniqueness. How many times do you think she’s heard “Can I buy you a drink?” Not in her lifetime. That night. Now think about what those guys were like and if they got shot down. Then add yourself to that list.
Wrong Message #2: I’m using my wallet to get into your pants. You say, “Can I buy you a drink?” but what she hears is: “Can I spend some money on you in the hopes of getting into your pants?” and all her defensive shields go up. If you’re wondering why they go up, instead of her welcoming you with open legs, go back and re-read #1.
Wrong Message #3: You are now obligated to talk to me. One of the things I found interesting when I interviewed women for my book (The Art of War for Dating) was how many of them told me when a guy offers to buy them a drink, they didn’t always WANT to talk to him, but feel obligated to talk to him, as if he were buying their time. And it makes them uncomfortable. Not exactly the mood you want her in.
So, the question becomes: Do you want to take a chance that you’ll send one of these wrong messages, when there are so many other clever, creative and attractive ways to open a conversation?
Of course not. And in my next post I’ll give you some ways to actually get her to buy you a drink. Willingly.
