No self-respecting horror fan has not seen Sam Raimi’s 1987 classic Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn. While famous critics and scholars often eschew Evil Dead 2 in favor of darker, scarier horror films (it got no votes in the last Sight & Sound poll, for instance), most horror enthusiasts – especially of a certain age – are often hasty to include it on Top 10 lists. Indeed, there was a time in my life, back in college, when I didn’t know a single male who did not include Evil Dead 2 in their ten favorite movies. If you are a male in America between the ages of 15 and 25, you don’t just admire Evil Dead 2, you love Evil Dead 2.
Indeed, Evil Dead 2 is one of those films that has become something of a rite of passage for the American male. It’s become widespread suburban issue for all aspiring punk rock outsider geek kids. If someone has ever even considered describing themselves as a geek, a copy of Evil Dead 2 appear in their bedroom. It’s so well-known and so well-loved by so many people, viewers kind of take it for granted. It’s not just a “great movie,” it’s just a standard. It’s in the geek firmament forever now, never to be shaken, never to be doubted, never to be doubted.
Which is exactly the kind of movie we need to topple. Here at Trolling, we are only capable of getting thrills surfing on waves of self-produced internet anger. Nerd rage is our bread, and geek outrage is our wine. As such, it’s time for us to do some serious reconsideration. Is Evil Dead 2 as good as everyone naturally accepts? Is it still worthy of its worship? Could it be that Evil Dead 2 is actually not that good? Could it be that Evil Dead 2 SUCKS? Why yes. That may very well be the case. Let’s look at a few reasons why:
It’s hard to watch the film without laughing, Bruce Campbell is a very funny slapstick actor, and the low-rent special effects have their charm. But the low-fi charm only stretches so far. When you really look at the film – really look at it – you’ll find that it’s shabby, weak, and sucky.
Until next week, let the hate mail flow.
Witney Seibold is the head film critic for Nerdist, and a contributor on the CraveOnline Film Channel, and co-host of The B-Movies Podcast. You can read his weekly articles Trolling here on Crave, and follow him on “Twitter” at @WitneySeibold, where he is slowly losing his mind.
Evil Dead 2 SUCKS
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It's Not Scary
Evil Dead 2 is often called a horror classic. It's not scary. Not for a second. None of the monsters are scary, none of the gore is scary, and the story isn't scary. It doesn't tap into any real-life fears. Indeed, I would go so far as to declare that it's not even a horror film. It contains the imagery of a horror film, and seems like a horror setup, but it plays like a slapdash comedy film or a Warner Bros. cartoon. Grueling horror? No. We need a new frame of reference for this one.
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It's the Same Movie Again
This is a no-brainer, and it's been brought up many times in the past, but Evil Dead 2 isn't a sequel either. It's a remake of Sam Raimi's same movie from six years earlier. It's a more rambunctious version of it to be sure, but it's the same damn movie. The damn short-form stupid story, the same tired setup, and even the same lead character. I know this may just be a semantic complaint, but why tack a number 2 to the title if you're not going to be making a sequel? The same movie again means it's a cash grab. The most cynical form of brand recognition exploitation.
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It's Padded
The story of Evil Dead 2 is as follows: Teenagers (?) in the woods read a cursed book. A lot of freaky stuff happens. They read from the book a second time and the freaky stuff stops. This could have been the story of a seven-minute cartoon. But Evil Dead 2 runs a lengthy 84 minutes, and the bulk of the film is a single guy running around a cabin encountering seemingly random weirdness with no rhyme nor reason. Wouldn't it be nice to advance something – anything – during these scenes? Establish character? Rules for the ghosts? Some more exposition? Why does it take so dang long for other characters to show up? This film reeks of padding.
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There Are No Rules
Not that I need everything spelled out for me, but I need something. Evil Dead 2 has a few rules: An evil book makes weird stuff start and stop, depending on what you read. It's also a time travel book. Also there's something in the woods that may or may not have been there before the evil book. Also there are demons that possess people's bodies. Also it can manifest monsters, resurrect the dead, create mirror clones, and pretty much do whatever the heck it wants. Um, how about some effing ground rules for that book, Sam?
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What Are the Monsters?
Indeed, are the monsters ghosts? Demons? Are they living in the woods all the time? They say something about being “the things that were and shall be again,” but what is that exactly? They want to kill people and take them to Hell, and they come from another dimension. It's all very vague. I understand that horror movies need to have monsters, and not having them fully explained can work well (see Halloween), but when you're making a slapstick comedy film that has books and stuff, I would like to know a little more about the nature of the creatures.
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The Monsters Aren't Threatening
In addition, those monsters are never a threat. Even the giant monster head at the end of the film doesn't even seem to pose a threat. Sure, they kill a few people, but since we're dealing with a comedic tone, and the monsters are so vague, their ability to do damage seems muted. These are incapable monsters. They can spray you with goo and they can sometimes kill you good, but they don't seem like Hellish demons who can really take over the world. All it takes to beat them is sunlight. Or a necklace. Or punching them a lot. It seems like a few guys with guns could make short work of these creatures.
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The Characters Aren't Much
Not that rich, complex characters are really even a goal of this film, but a lot of the acting in Evil Dead 2 is broad, silly, and stiff. They all approach the film with a workmanlike attitude. Read the lines and get the scene on film. The women are there to scream and the men are there to bleed. They do that well, but that's kind of where it stops. The characters don't have much going for them beyond their role as chattel to be stupidly killed by incapable creatures. Even Ash himself isn't deep or rich. He's just a cartoony dude who fights monsters.
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Bad Ending
That time travel thing is way stupid. I'm sorry, but it is. I already commented on the loose rules of the Necronomicon, but why does banishing them throw them back in time? It seems like Sam Raimi ran out of ideas, and just sneezed out something totally absurd. All of a sudden, in this non-horror horror film, we're in medieval times fighting a winged creature, fulfilling some sort of ancient prophecy. Ancient prophecies are the limpest plot point imaginable, unexpected time travel is lazy, and the movie doesn't really seem to end. Add to this the fact that the ending is altered in the sequel, and it becomes even lamer.
