Melissa Stetten has gained a large following during her time in the modeling industry, but not one that is solely limited to those who appreciate her good looks.
Melissa’s candid insight into the world of modeling, and the various pitfalls that come with being employed in such a career, has seen her landing writing jobs with the likes of Vice and xoJane, where her tales from her time spent in front of the lens have proven to be as popular as they have divisive.
No stranger to controversy, Melissa once found herself the subject of tabloid newspaper hounding, after she live-tweeted an encounter with married actor Brian Presley on a red eye flight. At the time, Melissa was unaware of Presley’s marital status (or even that he was a relatively famous actor), and tweeted his cringe-inducing amorous advances before one of her followers made her aware that he was actually a married man. That week Melissa found her encounter with Presley being reported on by the Mail Online headline who, with their typical brand of subtlety, ran with the headline “Can we trust ANYTHING Melissa Stetten says?” It was this that first introduced me to Melissa’s blog Pretty Bored, and I have been following her witty writing ever since.
With that being said, I thought I’d have a chat with Melissa on the subject she knows the most about: the pros and cons of being a model.
CRAVEONLINE: How did you first get into modeling?
MELISSA STETTEN: I never planned on being a model, like I never had this life long dream to be Cindy Crawford. I just wanted to be not ugly enough to get a husband. When I moved to LA I would hear people asking if I was a model, and I thought they were insane. I also had insanely low self-esteem from my acne and awkwardness. A friend convinced me to bring in photos to an open call at an agency and they signed me that day. I was really happy because it was the first time in my life I felt legitimately pretty.
What was your first modeling job?
I was in a music video for this band called The Maine. I had no idea what I was doing and the only “acting” experience I had was from a couple improv classes. Somehow I fooled everyone into thinking I knew what I was doing and the shoot went surprisingly well. The video turned out great and every time it was on MTV my mom would call me.
How does a casting usually go? What’s the process behind it?
Ugh. Castings. In New York they’re mostly similar- a ton of skinny girls all waiting in a hallway to see a designer to try on a few items and have your photo taken. I use my iPad as my portfolio, and I have comp cards to leave at each casting, which are the model’s version of headshots. Most of the time I have no idea if I’m liked or hated. I’ve been to castings where I thought everyone hated me then I’d get a call the next day that I booked the job. It’s so hard to tell what jobs you’d book, which is why it’s important to go to EVERY casting. You honestly never know what they’re looking for.
NYC is more high fashion, while LA is more commercial. My look works better in NYC because it’s diverse and I have small boobs. I do more commercial and TV auditions in LA, which are way more competitive. The one huge difference between NYC and LA castings are the makeup. In NYC I’m not supposed to wear any makeup, and I love that. In LA, I feel obligated to wear as much makeup as I would going on a first date because the notes always ask for the girl to look “like she’s at a party or a club.”
You’ve written a lot about suffering from depression and an anxiety disorder. Was this something you suffered with prior to modeling, or did the pressure of modeling start it?
My depression and anxiety started when I was about 23. I had just moved to LA from Michigan and had a lot of identity issues that I swept under the rug. I knew my passions and what made me happy, but I never felt secure enough to think I could actually succeed or accomplish everything I wanted to. I felt sad and lost. I was working as an assistant and would just go to work and come home. I wasn’t happy. I was tired all the time and felt like I would never amount to anything.
Honestly, when I started modeling I gained more confidence. I felt attractive and was happy to be working at photo shoots around creative people. It was inspiring. I had more confidence than any other time in my life.
I can imagine that modeling would be quite a difficult job for someone with mental health issues. How do you manage your modeling career whilst maintaining your mental health?
After a few months of modeling full-time in NYC, my depression came back. It’s so much more competitive in NYC because the girls are way younger and more unique than LA. The fashion scene in LA is basically nonexistent so it was a huge shock working in a legit market. I was very hard on myself. I obsessed about my appearance and what I ate. I’ve always had a competitive mindset so I wanted to book every job and be the thinnest and prettiest, but it’s impossible when you’re 25 competing against 17 year olds for the same job.
Medication has helped me immensely. I couldn’t imagine NOT being on medication. It helps with my anxiety and depression so I don’t feel like dying every day.
What are some of the common misconceptions about models?
Well the obvious one is models are all idiots. We’re actually not. A lot of girls I worked with were in school and had careers other than modeling. Most girls know it’s not a very stable career and have long-term plans.
People often view modeling as an “easy” job, but from your writing you make it clear that that’s not true. How do you deal with people making these snap judgments of you based upon the little amount of knowledge they have of your occupation?
I know I’m fortunate to have a job where I don’t need a college degree or experience. Some jobs are VERY easy, and others are exhausting. I’ve learned to not be judgmental of others’ careers because from the outside, modeling looked super easy, but it’s so much harder (emotionally and physically) than I imagined.
You’ve gained a lot of admirers due to how vocal you are about your career, but does this is any way hinder your relationship with casting directors or other models?
I’ve actually gotten more jobs from talking honestly about the modeling world. I just shot a music video for Foster the People, which I booked because the director was a fan of my writing. I have yet to experience someone not wanting to hire me because of something I said (knock on wood).
You’ve spoken before of your disdain for male models. What is it about them that’s so off-putting?
Ha…I don’t HATE them, I’m just not interested. Modeling is a very feminine career and I could never date a guy who had to look sexy or wear makeup. I prefer gross dudes who wear the same jeans for a week straight and only own one bottle of hair product.
You recently wrote about a variety of pills you found on the floor of one of your modeling shoots, presumably belonging to another model. Is self-medication a common practice among models, and if so, why?
Self-medication is common practice amongst everyone I know, not just models. I only know a handful of people who aren’t or haven’t been on prescription pills for mental health issues. I think most people in the entertainment industry are very sensitive and react to criticism differently than, say, a guy working at an insurance company in Ohio. Personality and looks are being judged when you’re a model or actor, and you can’t really change the way you look.
What are some of the best experiences your job has provided you?
I moved to London and started working immediately, which isn’t as easy to do for most people. No two jobs are the same, so the amount of people I’ve met is great. I get to work with very talented and creative photographers, which is fun and interesting because I went to school for photography. I LOVE fashion, and getting to wear new collections before they come out is very fun for me. I traveled to Manchester and got to explore the city on my own, something I probably never would have done had I not booked a job there. My best job ever was getting to work on one of my favorite shows – Key & Peele. It’s always fun getting to meet people you admire.
Follow: @MelissaStetten
