Time to get a job, watch Office Space, get the idea to steal a tiny bit of change a little at a time, so no one will catch on, physically take home tons of quarters instead of skimming virtual transactions, suspiciously try to deposit a s***-ton of quarters into your bank account, get arrested and check out these links!
How Not To Tease An Article About The Missing Malaysian Airplane

http://deadspin.com/how-not-to-tease-an-article-about-the-missing-malaysian-1547667745
It’s weird, but I don’t think this real life tragedy is actually a viral promotion, you guys.
Zuckerberg Called Obama To “Express Frustration” Over Spying’s Threat To Internet Security

Obama, in turn, expressed frustration about getting too many event invites to his friends’ comedy shows.
New Big Bang Evidence Also Hints That We May Exist In A Multiverse

We should’ve been reading this in science class.
Thomas Rica Stole Quarters, Took Home $460,000 From NJ Town By Filling His Pockets

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/20/thomas-rica-stole-quarters_n_4998408.html
“Got any change,” asked the homeless man. “Uh…” said Rica.
Gamestop As Fee-Free, Convenient Banking Institution

http://boingboing.net/2014/03/19/gamestop-as-a-fee-free-conven.html
Yeah, I’ve been saving all my gold coins and 1-ups there for years.
That’s all for this this frustrated edition of The Big List!
Geoffrey Golden is a bestselling author and Editor-in-Chief of The Devastator comedy magazine.