Episode Title: “II”
Writers: Robert Levine and Jonathan E. Steinberg
Director: Sam Miller
Previously on “Black Sails”:
Episode 1.01 “I”
Everyone in “Black Sails” struggles for money, power, or both, which is why people are willing to go to great lengths to obtain one, little ol’ page of a book… a page that will lead its owner to a 5 million dollar bounty. Nowadays, 5 million bucks is a pretty hefty prize; back then it was a ludicrous amount of cash, enough to grant you the freedom to live any life you desired (which is probably why everyone and their grandma on “Black Sails” is so gung-ho on tracking the thing down. The free-for-all for the page begins in cleverly-named “II.”
When I mentioned that I wanted to see more of the lady characters in my last review, I meant more of their stories, not their bodies. But, since this show airs on STARZ, we get treated to both! Eleanor and Max play important roles this episode, giving audiences a view into their characters. They wake up in bed together after a night of passion, not knowing the troubles that lie ahead of them. It’s a nice moment to establish that they have a more meaningful relationship that just sex. It’s also their last moment in this meaningful relationship. Let the trouble begin!
On the ship, while Singleton’s body sits there propped up against a pole, with his face mangled and the crewmen urinating on what’s left of him because he was a thief (when, in reality, this poor schmuck didn’t do anything wrong), Captain Flint, Gates, and Billy put their heads together and realize that John Silver could have the map since he was standing over a dead body when they found him. And unlike the rest of the crew, he was never searched. Looks like all it took to jumpstart those pirate brains was a little guilt and a big-ass lie.
It doesn’t help Silver’s case that he’s friggin’ terrible at being nonchalant. Actually, he’s a pretty big goober, but he’s also a smart goober. As soon as Billy even looks at him and starts toward him, Silver runs, which is intuitive, but damning. He then belly-flops off the ship like a drunken toddler leaping out of a jungle gym. Aww, Silver, I like ya already. He runs directly to Max to explain his dire need to sell the page sooner, rather than later.
Okay, so far, so good in “II”, but from here things start feeling like a daytime soap opera – sloooow. Everyone snoops around trying to get information the audience already knows, and it’s kind of a bore. Captain Vain tries to get the info out of Eleanor since they used to sleep together, but he doesn’t get anywhere. Flint tries the same thing, but he makes the smart move of offering her a bribe of money and protection, an offer she snatches up faster than a dog with a bratwurst on his nose.
Since we’ve passed soap opera phase one – acquisition – we enter phase two – accusations. Gates, who I will henceforth refer to as Smee because of his Smee-ish-ness, and Billy run around tracking Silver while Vain and Flint accuse everyone under the sun of having the page. Little gets accomplished here, and yet, it’s oddly watchable thanks to the charismatic performances from all involved. And even though everyone’s wasting time with the finger-pointing, they’re smart about the ways in which they do it, which is a distinctly un-soap opera move.
Since Eleanor took the bait, she asks Max to tell her where the page is. Max pleads with her that they can run away together and that she loves her, but Eleanor is more concerned about security than love, and breaks Max’s heart by declining. Eleanor tries to diffuse the situation by offering Max the protection Flint promised her, to which Max responds by telling her to get lost.
With everyone still hot on Silver’s heels, he does the only thing he can think of that will ensure his survival: he memorizes the schedule and then burns the page. Now only he knows what it said, and if anyone wants it, they’ll have to commence with the butt-kissing.
Though we’re still getting to know the characters at this point, I’m ready for things to get a little more momentum and head out to the open seas to find this magical boat. “II” leans on some soapy antics a bit, but it still manages to be entertaining, which is impressive. If “Black Sails” can keep me entertained when there’s nothing happening, I can only imagine how awesome it’ll be once there’s actually something important going on.
