Time to get on stage, make jokey banter with a beautiful actress in a crazy dress that was analyzed by every woman in America hours before, open an envelope, take a surprisingly long time to open said envelope, announce the name inside the envelope, walk off-stage, drink heavily until the endless award ceremony is finally over and check out these links!
And The 2014 Oscar Nominees Are…
http://www.vulture.com/2014/01/oscar-nominations-2014-full-list.html
Whatever wins, I’m gonna be super bored watching the ceremony.
Honest Titles For 2014’s Oscar Nominated Movies
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6948688/honest-titles-for-2014s-oscar-nominated-movies
At least college roommates finally have a poster to replace Fight Club.
Netflix Exposed As Net Neutrality Rules Gutted
http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2014/01/15/netflix-net-neutrality-costs/4491117/
“We won’t abuse this power,” the cable companies giggled.
Chris Christie’s Missing Traffic Study
http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/58c107645f/leaked-chris-christie-traffic-study
Traffic Study Conclusion: Traffic is no good.
I Have A Chinese Banknote That Everyone In China Is Scared Of
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/i-have-a-chinese-banknote-everyone-in-china-is-scared-od
Hint: The reason they’re scared has nothing to do with ghosts.
That’s all for this this Oscar nominated edition of The Big List!
Geoffrey Golden is a bestselling author and Editor-in-Chief of The Devastator comedy magazine.
