Did your team not make the conference round of the playoffs? Are you looking for an extra reason to hate who your team is facing this week? We are here for you, our fine sports readers. From Superman poses to drug charged mythical birds, there are plenty of reasons to dislike teams — and good reasons as well.
Carolina Panthers
Reasons to Hate – Cam Newton once stole a laptop, wrote his name on it, then threw it out the window when the police arrived. Do you really want to cheer him on? Not to mention the whole obnoxious “Superman” pose before winning anything in the NFL? And his Kanye-eque face he uses when addressing the media. If there was going to be an Allen “I can rap too, guys!” Iverson of the current NFL it will be Cam Newton.
Reasons To Bandwagon – As far as bandwagons go, theirs is pretty light still. 2013 is their first playoff appearance in five years and fourth year with an improved record. They haven’t done a lot to be hated so you can still slide under the radar.
Denver Broncos
Reasons to Hate – Peyton Manning can’t say no to a commercial opportunity. The commercial whore has shelled products from cars to televisions to credit cards to kids’ toys to cell phones to video game systems to cookies… He even partnered up with notorious corporate douche Papa John. Luckily for us all, he is one bad hit from retirement. Besides all that, how can you like a team that used to have John Elway? Because of Elway an entire generation of arrogant Bronco fans were created who then treated him like a golden calf.
Reasons to Bandwagon – Peyton is so very likable. He may do a million commercials and T.V. appearances but he is always self-effacing and sincere of his love of us common folk. Plus, the Broncos are the favorites to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl.
Indianapolis Colts
Reasons to Hate – The Colts survived an easy division and got lucky to draw the choke-able Kansas City Chiefs led by the choke-able Andy Reid. Who really expected the Chiefs to win after they pissed off the Football Gods by sitting their starters against the Chargers? You only root for the Colts if you live in the same area code as Leslie Knope.
Reasons to Bandwagon – It is hard to hate on the Colts. Much like Andy on “Parks and Recreation”, their fans are likable goofballs who don’t harm much.
New England Patriots
Reasons to Hate – Who the heck appointed Tom Brady Captain America?? Let’s bring up the Great Hoodie and his spygate scandal. They have two types of fans: the insuffurable Boston Bros (a.k.a. Red Sox Nation) and the bandwagon drunks (a.k.a. Red Sox Nation).
Reasons to Bandwagon – The Patriots are America. America, F’ Yeah! (If anyone has a reason that makes it okay to bandwagon the Pats, please comment below because I have nothing.)
New Orleans Saints
Reasons to Hate – Sean Payton is a cheat who encouraged players to actually hurt opponents. That’s evil and shouldn’t be encouraged. If you ain’t from the greater New Orleans area then you have no excuse.
Reasons to Bandwagon – Football is supposed to be a battle, stop your whining and get behind Who Dat Nation. Plus, we have beads.
San Diego Chargers
Reasons to Hate – They got lucky and luckier. They got to play the Chiefs’ non-starters to decide their fate. The refs blew a call and the Steelers stay home and the Chargers get in.
Reason to Bandwagon – Some have to get passionate for the Chargers. Goodness knows how laid back the San Diego sports fans can be. Bonus: per a recent Emory University study, the Chargers are the least “unliked” outside their own market based on positive sentiment.
San Francisco 49ers
Reasons to Hate – Bay Area fans are like junior New Yorkers in their obnoxiousness. Surprisingly, they are so quick to bemoan the loss of a season the first time their team has to punt. More than any others, they find more pleasure in their rivals’ losses than their team’s victories. The cherry of hate is the John Harbaugh debauchery displayed on a weekly basis. No successful NFL coach can be 100 percent a good guy, but Harbaugh takes it to a new level. Start counting the number of times the camera catches him yelling at the refs. Oh… oh… oh… Colin Kaepernick and his kissing of the biceps. Ugh…. Can we install a rule that you have to win a Super Bowl before you get a ‘thing’?
Reasons to Bandwagon – San Francisco teams have a unique ability to get hot at the right time. The 49ers look like they have momentum right now. If you want choose a strong team that looks to have the least glaring holes, then the 49ers are for you.
Seattle Seahawks
Reasons to Hate – Pete Carroll came to town from scandalized USC and the drug suspensions started piling up. Coincidence? While the good folks of the Great Northwest are typically humble down to Earth people, the Seahawks are in the midst of being the next big IT team. Much like the Niners in 80s, Cowboys in the 90s and the Patriots in the 00s, the Seahawks are getting bandwagoned all over of the nation by NFL orphans who jump from team to team without regard to geographic ties. They are insufferable simply because they pick the “hottest team” of the moment. Don’t be one of those guys. You’ll look foolish if the injured O-Line doesn’t hold up.
Reasons to Bandwagon – Russell Wilson and company are generally good guys. There is even a documentary about their faith in action. It gets overshadowed by Carroll. The whole “12th Man” vibe and love is a real thing that makes you family that is more concerned about rooting on the Seahawks than rooting against other teams. And…. We give our running back, Marshawn Lynch, Skittles every time he scores just like his Mom did when he was a kid.
Brian Reddoch is a CraveOnline reporter and rabid fan of all teams Seattle. You can follow him on Twitter @ReddReddoch or “like” CraveOnline Sports on Facebook.
Photo Credit: Getty
