"Black Friday" has been this country's day of reckoning for years. Although — knock on wood — there haven't been any deaths reported (that I am aware of) in 2013, we've certainly seen tragic events unfold the day after Thanksgiving within stores across the country in years past. Since stores are now opening on Thanksgiving day instead, thus watering down the heavy flow of shoppers throughout a more staggering two-day period as opposed to one, the brutality of such current-day primitive behavior hasn't been quite as extreme — but it's still been ridiculous.
The 2013 day of reckoning still involved a lot of contact, along with shouting and rooting from those charging and those spectating amongst the aisles.
My question is, whether it's fight to the death, er, merch, or not, is it finally time to declare "Black Friday" a sport? Let's take a look at the popular videos that surfaced Friday.
Who has the football at the bottom of this pile?!… Oh no. It's just a flatscreen.
You can't run over everybody in this league!… unless it's the Wal-Mart division!
"Running of the Bulls?!"… Nope, running of the "Who can get to the $98 TVs and $8 waffle-makers first."
Is that Adrian Peterson or a police officer busting through the lane?!… Doesn't matter — heart problem or not — did you get the blu-ray?!
"Malace in the Palace?!"… Nope. Just brawlin' in Target.
For the sake of allowing me a just a tiny glimmer of hope in humanity… get a life, people.
Josh Helmuth is the editor of CraveOnline Sports. You can follow him @JHelmuth or "like" CraveOnline Sports on Facebook.
