Aliens, demons, androids and robots are everywhere in television, and these characters who often end up being fan favorites as we watch them stumble through trying to understand humanity as they attempt to emulate real people.
On Fox’s new sci-fi series, “Almost Human,” we get a new non-human blend to watch as mostly flesh-and-blood cop John Kennex (Karl Urban) partners up with an android named Dorian (Michael Ealy). This simple premise will probably lead to a ton of good stories and more than a couple of great gags. Androids and their ilk may look like us, but things that seem normal and easy-to-understand for humans boggle their non-human minds.
With that in mind, let’s check out some of television’s most notable non-human characters and the best moments of them almost, but not quite, acting like human beings. On our list is Anya, a demon-turned-human from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” Castiel, an angel from “Supernatural,” Cameron, a terminator from “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles,” Data, an android from “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” and Kryten, an android from “Red Dwarf.”
TV's Top 10 Almost Human Moments
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Data Sneezes
A classic moment from "Star Trek: The Next Generation." As annoying uber-kind Wesley Crusher enters the room, Data fakes a sneeze, prompting him to ask “What are you doing? Do you have a cold?”
Data's response: “A cold what?” Badump-bump!
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Anya Shares Too Much Information
As a former demon turned human on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Anya is desperate to seem human while being interviewed by the Watcher's Council.
Let's just say that Anya gets a little too free with her personal information: “Born on the fourth of July…who's our little patriot they'd say when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now.”
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Cameron Claims a 9mm
Why do we humans “call shotgun?” I don't know how it originated, but it's easy to forget how that phrase sounds to someone who doesn't know it.
On "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles," John, Sarah, and their heroic Terminator, Cameron decide to go on a field trip. So when John “calls shotgun,” Cameron calls dibs on the 9mm.
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Castiel Tries His Hand at an Insult
There are many levels of insults. Some are really good because of the clever use of wordplay… and some are just the opposite.
On "Supernatural," the angel Castiel attempts to insult a man possessed by an angel, and calls him an “assbutt.”
It's unlikely that the possessed dude felt insulted at being called an “assbutt”, but he did seem slightly distracted, so mission accomplished, I guess.
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Data Wears a Beard
After seeing that post-beard Riker commands a much stronger presence that he did as a smooth-faced number two, Data snags himself a beard and tries to analyze its merits.
“When I stroke the beard thusly,” he wonders, “do I not appear more intellectual?” You sure do, Data. You sure do.
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Cameron Learns How to Talk to Girls
In the bathroom at school, a girl asks Cameron that horrible question no one wants to be asked: “Does this make me look fat?”
Being a terminator, she takes a look and answers, “Yes.” The girl gets mad, asking what her problem is to which she confusingly replies, “You asked.”
Lesson for everyone here is anyone who says “yes” to that question must be a robot.
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Anya Learns About Life
Back to "Buffy," as Anya breaks out the board games one night to keep youngster Dawn entertained.
When playing the game of Life, she doesn't quite get what it takes to win- all she sees is a hassle: “Crap. Look at this. Now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children and more cash than I can reasonably manage.”
Xander has to explain to her that those are good things and means she's winning. So she sets her priorities, “I'm so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?"
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Cameron Tells the Truth, and Nothing But the Truth
It seems like only humans get the concept of lying, since non-humans tend to tell the truth and the whole truth, no matter how brutal it is.
Cameron's classmate sees her closing the trunk to a car and asks if it's hers. She says, “No. It belongs to the guy I killed and stuffed in the trunk.”
Not really knowing how to react to that, the guy kind of laughs it off like she's telling a joke while she gives him a stone-faced stare.
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Castiel Learns How to Set Up His Voicemail… Sort of.
On "Supernatural," Sam Winchester tries calling Castiel, but he doesn't answer.
When it goes to voicemail, Sam hears an automated voice state “You've reached the voicemail of:” followed by Castiel, confused by this automated voice's request, who says, “I don't understand. Why do you want me to say my name?” and then a series of beeps and boops as Castiel tries to dial a number.
He can teleport anywhere in the universe and perform miracles, but the phone is one mystery Castiel can't wrap his head around.
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Kryten Becomes a Real Man… Anatomically Speaking
On "Red Dwarf," Kryten the android doesn't come equipped with genitalia, so he decides to fashion himself one.
When he finds out what a penis looks like, he's incredulous, at best:: “Is it supposed to look like that? It's hideous. That's the best design they could come up with? Are you seriously telling me there were choices and someone said, 'There, that's the shape we're looking for- the last chicken in the shop look?'”
When he finally gets one, it has a mind of its own and starts running around like a mouse. Kristine makes him very proud, though, by affirming his entry into manhood since, “like all men, you have absolutely no control over your penis.”
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BONUS MOMENT: Castiel Meets the Pizza Man and the Babysitter
Back to "Supernatural," as Castiel watches TV in the Winchester brothers' hotel room.
It all seems innocent enough until Castiel starts speaking: “It's very complex. If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear?”
Sam and Dean then explain to him how he's not supposed to watch porn in a room full of dudes. When Dean tells Castiel to turn it off, he looks down curiously at his crotch. With the tone of voice of an annoyed parent, Dean says, “Oh great, now he's got a boner.”
