Halloween fast approaches. All Hallows Eve will come and bring with it costumes, candy, and, of course, horror movies. While most eyes will be on the influx of sexy outfits in the costume world, the true Halloween fan will consume candy and probably alcohol, enjoy the left handed cigarette, and watch as many horror movies as they can.
While enjoying a bit of an early turn with said left-handed cigarette, I began flipping through comic books. That’s when it hit me. The age old “who would win” argument that has echoed off the halls of comic book stores for decades could now be put to the ultimate test. Heroes against horror movie killers. Just think of the excitement. So, with that in mind I came up with 12 Horror Movie Killers vs. Superhero Battles We Want To See.
BTW if any video game company makes Killers vs. Heroes fighting game. I want in!!
Horror Icons vs. Superheroes
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12. Chucky vs. Dex-Starr
I have no idea how this would end up, but watching a pissed off cat take on a pissed off toy doll would be amazing. The string of curses out of the both of them would be worth the price of admission
Edge: Even
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11. Carrie vs. Jean Grey
Psychic versus psychic. Pissed teenager goes against sad, melancholy teenager. This would have to be normal Jean Grey. If Dark Phoenix steps into this, then Carrie will have whoop ass tossed at her faster than tampons in the shower. If it’s one on one, I say Jean convinces Cyclops to take her to the Xavier Prom and then dumps Beast semen on her. Who the hell can come back from that?
Edge: Jean Grey
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10. Nosferatu vs. Skinner Sweet
Original vampire against American Vampire! Old school against new school! This has 'big fight feel' written all over it. Bald scary man against good looking blond vampire. Stoic against loudmouth. It’s two ends of the vampire spectrum crashing into each other. Could the old master of the vampires take out the new hotshot? What a battle it would be!
Edge: Actually, I’m hoping they join forces to kill every glowing bitch-ass Twilight vampire they can find
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9. The Tall Man vs. Dr. Strange
The Tall Man is from another planet and he can alter perceptions of reality. He’s also immortal, has weird minions of the undead and the Phantasm ball in his corner. However, Doctor Strange is the holder of the Eye of Agamotto, as well as a master of the mystic arts. It would come down to Doctor Strange being able to avoid the Phantasm ball. If he can do that and not get slapped out by midget alien zombie minions, then he could take the Tall Man. However, that’s a lot to avoid.
Edge: Doctor Strange (but not by much)
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8. Aliens vs. Ghost Rider
The amount of awesomeness in this battle is immeasurable. Aliens have acid for blood, they are masters of hiding away until the exact time to pounce, they swarm and they have massive jaws. On the flipside, Ghost Rider is a flaming skull demon with a bike of fire. How’s acid going to burn a guy whose head is always ablaze? Ghost Rider whips out that demon chain and he’ll be cutting through Alien swarms like butter. Still, if they get close enough, could they rip Ghost Rider apart before he can react?
Edge: Ghost Rider
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7. Godzilla vs. Hulk
Do I really need to explain this one? Close your eyes and instantly experience the nerd-boner picturing the strongest there is against the mightiest monster on earth.
Edge: Anybody who doesn’t live in Tokyo
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6. Pinhead vs. Thor
A god of Hell versus a Norse god of thunder. The box of pure evil against the hammer of pure power. Awesome one-liners for a sarcastic demon against awesome one-liners of godspeak from Thor. Some will say Thor is the easy winner here, but you have to think it through. Pinhead is a demon master of Hell. He also has cenobites, who will throw themselves in harm's way to serve him. Cenobites being shredded by Thor’s hammer would be an awesome spectacle, as would hooks of pain tearing up Thor’s flesh.
Edge: Even
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5. Jason Vorhees vs. The Punisher
If Punisher can take a trip to Riverdale, then why not a jaunt to Crystal Lake? Voorhees doesn’t die, and Punisher doesn’t care. Weapons and military training against unkillable psychopath. Best part would be when Jason hacks Punisher to death and he returns as Frankencastle, then we get a monster fight on top of the original battle. No idea who wins, but I sure do want to watch.
Edge: Jason Voorhees
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4. Leatherface vs. Deadpool
I have no clue who would win, and I don’t care. The vast amount of hysterical jokes Deadpool would make at the expense of Leatherface and his inbred family would be worth the price of admission. It could also end up like the Black Knight scene in Holy Grail, where every time Deadpool gets a piece of himself sliced off by Leatherface, he says “It’s just a flesh wound.”
Edge: Deadpool
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3. Freddy Krueger vs. Wolverine
Claws versus claws. Snikt Snikt versus 1,2, Freddy’s coming for you. Right off the bat, fans will scoff at this because of Wolverine’s healing ability. However, if the fight takes place within Logan’s dreams, then the healing factor doesn’t come into play. Freddy can also turn into all kinds of massive threats in the dream world. Remember, if you die in a dream you die for real. That being said, Wolverine is a tough bitch and Freddy won’t be able to use fear to control him. It’d be a rough battle, but a great one.
Edge: Even
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2. Michael Myers vs. Superior Spider-Man
Imagine how pissed Otto Octavius would be when none of his contraptions could kill one idiot in a Halloween mask. Physically, the slugfest could go back and forth. Michael doesn’t die and, if you follow all the movies, he gets a lot stronger as the films go on. If Spidey webs him, he chops out of it, Spidey hits Michael, and Michael gets up. I’m fairly certain Superior Spider-Man would eventually overcome Michael Myers' penchant for remaining alive, but it would be a fun fight.
Edge: Spider-Man
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1. Jigsaw vs. Batman
A meeting of the minds. Jigsaw is a master of deception, puzzles, and traps. His abilities would be put to the test against the world’s greatest detective. Jigsaw and Batman would be forced to outthink each other. This would be one battle that is brain over brawn. If Batman gets his hands on Jigsaw, it ends quickly. However, Batman making his way through a maze of riddles and deathtraps would be awesome. Easily the most interesting face off between a horror movie icon and a superhero legend.
Edge: Batman
