Dodgers’ J.P. Howell Looks Like An Amish Man

Forget all of the noise surrounding Yasiel Puig, Mickey Mouse or proper celebration etiquette. The most fascinating thing about the 2013 NLCS between the Dodgers and Cardinals is the fact that it looks like Los Angeles has an Amish man tossing flames from the mound.

While on the phone from Calif. with my father — who grew up Amish and who lives in Arthur, IL (Amish capital of the state) while watching a Cardinals-Dodgers game this week, we both took notice of J.P. Howell. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Wow. J.P. Howell really looks Amish with that beard.”

Dad: “He does! I was about to say the same thing.”

Dad then turns to my Amish cousin, Galen (16-years old and on his Rumspringa), who was watching the game in the living room with my dad, and asks, “He does look Amish, doesn’t he?” Galen responds, “Yup, looks Amish.”

Me: “I mean, with the full length beard and no mustache. Totally looks Amish.”

Dad: “He looks laaahhhhkkk a Yodddddddddeeerrrrrrr (chuckles)” — Yoder being a popular Amish sir name.

Below you will find a gallery of selected images beneath the screen shot I took of J.P. Howell pitching in Game 4. You decide which Amish man more closely resembles the Dodgers pitcher.

Note: Amish don’t believe in photography (unless they are younger, un-baptized Amish on their Rumspringa) and can get into trouble if voluntarily taking photos under many circumstances. Most of these pictures were probably taken unknowingly to the subject or they are part of a more liberal hippie-like Amish community. And by hippie-Amish, I mean they are probably allowed to ride bicycles and drink an occasional Mountain Dew.

Names of subjects below have been changed to protect identities — however, the names are inspired by real Amish relatives of mine. You’re welcome for the social studies lesson. Now, YOU decide who J.P. looks like more…

Josh Helmuth is the editor of CraveOnline Sports. You can follow him @JHelmuth or “like” CraveOnline Sports on Facebook.