“He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue!”
Well, OK, maybe morgue talk is a little too over-the-top in relation to the average schoolyard food fight. But the lesson Jim Malone and his tweed wool cap impart here is a critical one.
A superior arsenal WILL rule the day. It’s true in Eastern Europe, in Prohibition-era Chicago…and during lunch period at North Fairfax Elementary.
“He pulls a ham and cheese, you pull a PB&J. He sends one of yours to detention, you send one of his to the nurse’s station!”
Metaphors aside, our buddies at Thrillist didn’t have anything going on today — so they assembled their list of the best food fight ammo a kid can get his hands on for guaranteed victory when the inevitable hail of milk, hot lunches and fruit starts flying.
Take a look at Thrillist’s complete breakdown — and don’t forget to bring a raincoat.
