Today the world woke up to the news that Danny Dyer is joining the cast of Eastenders. Now I don’t personally watch the show (the real world is bleak enough without watching a group of middling actors pretending to run market stalls), but hearing of Dyer’s latest depressing career move has certainly peaked my interest. I mean, in a program filled with intolerable cockney accents, it’s a surprise that his Dick Van Dyke impression hasn’t made its way to Walford sooner.
To celebrate this joyous occasion, here are 5 reasons why we all love everybody’s favourite cock-er-nee ragamuffin.
1. He Believes in UFOs
In between making fun of people with self-esteem issues for not dressing like the rest of the British public in Snog, Marry, Avoid and showing re-runs of Family Guy, BBC Three also sometimes features the odd enlightening documentary such as I Believe in UFOs: Danny Dyer, in which the Football Factory actor wanders around America, looking up at the sky while questioning his meager existence on our lonely planet. The above video shows Danny at his most sincere, convinced that he has witnessed something extra-terrestrial on his travels.
2. He Eats Sausages and Beans Cold
Danny Dyer’s Deadliest Men sees the actor spend some quality time with guys who’d supposedly rather shoot you between the eyes than look at you, which inevitably winds up with Dyer getting himself involved in some wonderfully awkward situations. The clip above is from the greatest episode in the series, which saw Dyer getting punched in the chin before tackling an uncomfortable conversation about post-traumatic stress disorder with discussion of his bowel movements.
3. This F***ing Trailer.
Oh God, where do I begin? Danny Dyer’s career peaked quite early with Football Factory, but even he must’ve been shocked to find the only work he had left on his table was a romantic-comedy starring Neil Morrissey. It grossed £602 at the UK box office.
4. He Tells Us How to Play Video Games
Here was me thinking that I could play FIFA 14 whichever way I wanted to, but no. Danny Dyer has a technique to enjoying your hobby.
Remember, gamers – don’t go a bed. Just don’t go a bed.
Photo: Getty Images
