Even though the last of Christopher Nolan’s Batman films was released just last year, it’s already taken wholly for granted that the director’s three films are the natural and accepted rulers of the comic book movie firmament. When Batman Begins was released in 2005, it was quite a gamble for the studio, proving to be a stylistic and conceptual departure from the character we had previously seen in the films of Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher. The result was a colder and more procedural approach to Batman. Batman Begins made a decent amount of money at the box office (it had a $49 million opening weekend, according to Box Office Mojo), propelling goodwill toward the character back through the same roof it was propelled through in 1989.
When the film’s sequel, The Dark Knight, was released in 2008, it was an unmitigated commercial and critical success, making a whopping $158 million its opening weekend. What’s more, it was considered the new Single Most Important Movie Ever Made according to many of its fans. These days, The Dark Knight is considered a touchstone in genre cinema, and is widely hailed as one of the best superhero films ever made.
But this is Trolling, a series of articles devoted to ripping down everything that you love. And since this is Trolling – and it’s my explicit job to be the loathsome and obnoxious contrarian that I am – I will posit the following: The Dark Knight sucks. There were a lot of things (both big and small) terribly wrong with this film. With its flaws compiled, it may prove to you that Christopher Nolan’s beloved geek property is not the Holy Grail you think it is. Let’s raise some ire.
The movie is well-remembered by everyone, and nearly all the critics who saw it praised it endlessly. The Dark Knight, indeed, has become one of those assumed high water marks of the superhero genre, one that will never be surpassed. Perhaps next time you launch into a tirade about how much you like The Dark Knight, though, you should reconsider that it has perhaps, at the very least, been outstripped by its sequel, and never reached the subtle moody highs of the 1989 film.
Until next week, let the hate mail flow.
Witney Seibold is a featured contributor on the CraveOnline Film Channel, co-host of The B-Movies Podcast and co-star of The Trailer Hitch. You can read his weekly articles Trolling, Free Film School and The Series Project, and follow him on “Twitter” at @WitneySeibold, where he is slowly losing his mind. If you want to buy him a gift (and I know you do), you can visit his Amazon Wish List.
The Dark Knight sucks
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The Film is Downright Convoluted
Quick! What role did Heath Ledger play? Yes. The Joker. Good. Now What role did Morgan Freeman play? Some of you said Lucien Fox. Also good. Now tell me: What role did Eric Roberts play? What's that you say? You don't remember Roberts in the film? That's because he was swallowed up by the over-complicated plot machinations of the film. Also, what was the purpose of Batman going to Korea? Or was it Japan? We all recall the main gist of the plot: The Joker is causing mischief and challenging how far Batman is willing to go in the name of civic order, but the actual plot of the movie is indecipherable after just one or even two viewings.
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Too Much Speechifying
One of the cardinal rules of film school is the oft-repeated aphorism “Show, don't tell.” This is essentially a plea for young filmmakers to learn how to give as much information as possible using just visuals. The Dark Knight has at least a dozen scenes wherein the characters do not act, give meaningful looks, or convey emotions through subtle body movements, and instead give long-winded speeches and stories about what it means to be Batman, and the moral dimensions of everything The Joker stands for (i.e., he's a nihilist). From a philosophical standpoint, this is great. But this is not how people speak, and the comic book proselytizing becomes tiresome quickly.
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Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor
There is one (1) notable female character in this film, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. While Gyllenhaal is a capable and expressive actress, she doesn't have too much to do in this movie. Her role is essentially to cross her arms and tap her foot disapprovingly, and then get murdered by a man. As a result, the romances and love triangles feel more like an impressionistic dumbshow, wherein we just have to accept that the characters are in love. It would have been nice if Rachael was a bit more well-rounded, and that her presence in Batman's life contained anything approaching heat or passion or actual romance.
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A Statue of Levity
Remember fun? Some of the characters smile once or twice, I think. Maybe. Actually, I don't think anyone laughs in this film other than The Joker, and his laugh is more a horror movie sadist's cackle than an uncontrolled giggle. True, the film is staged as a crime drama, but real people investigate crimes, and can still occasionally can let off some steam with a laugh or two after hours. Real people have senses of humor. None of the people in this film do at all. They're all such sourpusses, who glower and brood in between their speeches. Indeed, this leads to my next point...
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Bland Characters (Apart from The Joker)
We get to know these people well (their speeches certainly take care of that), but every single character seems to be stuck on a single note. Everyone is reduced to a state of straight-ahead steely determination that we usually only see in action movies. Yes, real people can be resolute and find themselves in the occasional fugue state wherein they can only focus on the task at hand, but that state of mind can only last for so long. The characters in The Dark Knight are so busy fighting crime, we don't ever get to see them eating, sleeping, cleaning their apartments, doing what they love, or engaging in any sort of real human behavior. After a while, they can start to feel like blank avatars and less like people.
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Batman Just Doesn't Work Anymore
The Dark Knight is so laser-focused on being a gritty crime drama, and it takes its violence so deathly seriously, that Batman seems to have outlived his usefulness as a fantasy character. There is so much talk of mob tactics and crime bosses, that when Batman shows up in that cape, mask, and those silly little pointed ears, that he feels entirely out of place. Imagine watching an episode of “Law & Order,” and right in the middle of a rape trial, Batman flounced into the room. He'd be laughed out of the court. Half of Batman's entrances in this film feel cartoonish and weird. It's like The Dark Knight was trying to be a crime film and only reluctantly let Batman play along.
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The Voice
Everyone's already made fun of this one, so I'll just bring it up again.
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Batman Doesn't Kneecap Anyone
This may seem like an odd complaint, but I feel it's legit, because it's not explored in the Batman universe. Batman is a crimefighter, right? But he refuses to commit murder. This, I understand. He may be a superhero, but he doesn't kill like James Bond, however heroic the murder may be. The Joker's game, then, is to see if he can sort of goad Batman into killing or doing something as horrible. Um... Did no one think of kneecapping? Seriously. Batman can easily stop The Joker's schemes if her were to just break his arms and legs. Easy peasy! The Joker is taken out of commission, and no one had to die. Maybe Batman can merely kidnap The Joker and leave him in that same pit he was trapped in in The Dark Knight Rises. The Joker's plan wouldn't work if Batman just started kneecapping people.
