TRUE BLOOD 6.06 "Don't You Feel Me"

Episode Title: “Don’t You Feel Me”

Writer: Daniel Kenneth

Director: Howard Deutsch

Previously on “True Blood”:

There. See? This is what “True Blood” is all about: looking like it’s wasting our time for several episodes at a time, only to prove it was laying the groundwork for an episode that was totally worth it. Does it mean those episodes weren’t sometimes boring as sin? No, but sooner or later sinning usually turns out to be quite a lot of fun.

“Don’t You Feel Me” is yet another sprawling episode of the HBO series that covers a lot of ground, making something as simple as an episode recap seem daunting. So this week we’re going to lay it all out in bullet points to keep everyone’s lives’ (read: mine) simple.

Sookie Unleashes Her Inner “Danger Whore”
- After Billith sets Warlow free to save Sookie from the ghost of her dead father possessing Lafayette’s body (“True Blood” is weird sometimes), he calls Warlow back, so Sookie transports him to the faerie dimension of Cybill Sheperd filters.
- Warlow reveals that if both he and Sookie are vampires, they would only have to feast on each other’s blood to survive.
- Warlow also apologizes for the whole “marriage contract in blood” angle, accurately pointing out that at the time when it was written arranged marriages were the norm. (Which is such a facepalm worthy “duh” plot point that I’m ashamed I never thought of it in the first place.)
- Warlow also reveals that he has trouble keeping his inner vampire in check at night, so Sookie is forced to tie him to a tombstone, which is hot.
- Sookie decides that the townsfolk of Bon Temps are right, she is a “Danger Whore,” and then bones Warlow silly, sucking down his blood in the process.
- VERDICT: This sequence is annoyingly shot (faerie land always looks embarrassingly cheap), but whatever. Sookie stops acting like she’s better than everyone else and Warlow makes some valid points about how naïve we all were about his plotline. Well done, “True Blood.”
Sam Gives Emma Back to Her Grandmother
- Grandma agrees to abandon Alcide’s weird ass pack in exchange for custody of Emma.
- Alcide decides not to kill Sam, but tells him to leave Shreveport and Bon Temps forever.
- I think this storyline is finally over.
- VERDICT: Thank Christ, I think this storyline is finally over.
Andy Bellefleur Finally Gives His Surviving Half-Faerie Daughter a Name
- Her name is Adeline-Brailine-Charlene-Danica (ABCD)
- VERDICT: That’s a stupid name.
Jason Goes Undercover with Burrell’s Racist Kill Squad
- In an effort to save Jessica, Jason joins Burrell’s militia and gets fast-tracked because he knows a lot about vampires and has already killed a bunch of them.
- Jason calls them “racist fucks” for approving theoretically of stuff that Jason has actually done.
- Jason keeps Sarah Newlin quiet by threatening to tell everyone they had sex together.
- It’s her word against his and she has a small army of trigger-happy soldiers at her command, so I have no idea how that worked.
- Also at least some of the soldiers working at this facility must have been the ones Sarah called to arrest Jessica at Jason’s house and seen them together, so it’s not like their cover story is bullet proof.
- Look, I’m willing to believe that Jason came up with a stupid plan, it’s just the fact that it’s working is freaking me out a little.
- Sarah tries to force Jessica to have sex with a random vampire in the copulation room to mess with Jason’s head, but it doesn’t work out.
- Why she doesn’t just kill Jessica instead is beyond me.
- VERDICT: Full of plot holes, but Jason gets some great moments and he’s finally in a position to do something useful this season, presumably in next week’s episode. That’s always a good thing.
Eric Vs. Hepatitis V
- Eric and Pam get out of their gladiator match by killing a bunch of guards.
- For some reason Burrell and Sarah don’t kill either of them for doing that.
- Burrell injects Eric’s sister Nora with a genetically-engineered communicable vampire virus called “Hepatitis V.”
- That’s a funny name for a virus.
- Eric calls to his progeny Willa Burrell, who frees Eric and Nora.
- Eric discovers that Burrell’s entire supply of True Blood has been spiked with Hepatitis V.
- To be fair, Burrell was going to sell it at a discount.
- VERDICT: That’s pretty messed up, Eric is awesome, Willa is surprisingly awesome, this storyline is awesome.
Billith Takes a Walk
- Billith finally realizes that Jessica is gone and realizes the prophecy is nigh.
- Billith gets no help whatsoever from Lillith, basically wasting half an episode.
- Billith chugs Warlow’s blood and walks over to Governor Burrell’s house.
- It seems like maybe Billith should have maybe run there given that he’s in something of a rush.
- Billith cuts Governor Burrell’s head off.
- I guess Burrell wasn’t the “Big Bad” after all.
- VERDICT: Billith finally did something useful, Burrell’s death was memorably disgusting, next week let’s hope Billith finally goes completely nuts.
The Sad, Sad Fate of Terry Bellefleur
- Terry Bellefleur prepares to be killed by his old Marine Corps. buddy by giving Lafayette the key to a mysterious safe deposit box.
- Lafayette tells Arlene, who thinks Terry is going to commit suicide.
- Arlene gets a vampire to glamour Terry’s emotional trauma away, but also his memory of putting a contract out on his own life.
- Terry gets shot in the neck anyway, on the first and only day of his life when he may have been truly happy, and he dies in Arlene’s arms.
- Arlene’s going to open that safe deposit box and realize she should have just talked to her husband instead of being insensitive and duplicitous.
- VERDICT: That’s depressing as fuck.

Season Six of “True Blood” did a piss poor job of putting the pieces in motion, but now that the second half of the season is upon us the gamble appears to be paying off. The plot doesn’t always make sense (which was never “True Blood’s” strong suit, to be honest), but the characters are all taking action instead of whining all the time, it’s violent and sexy, and witty dialogue abounds: “Oh come on, we’re werewolves. Butch the fuck up.” “I detect a tone.” “Grabbing you by your pretty little Texas balls.” “I’m dead and you’re still overprotective.” “I might be a whore but I ain’t stupid.”

“Don’t You Feel Me” is the highlight of “True Blood” Season Six so far, which may seem like a backhanded compliment, but a compliment is still a compliment, and given how much actually happens in this week’s episode – and satisfactorily for a change – it may go down as a series highlight, if only in context with the rest of the season.

“Hepatitis V.” Hehehe… That’s still kinda funny. “V” is the first letter in the word “vampire!”