Disney released a series of excellent cartoon shows in the 1990s, like “Ducktales,” “Tailspin” and “Goof Troop,” but most of those series took place in a world comprised entirely of anthropomorphic animals. A live-action adaptation of “Darkwing Duck” would be monstrous, and an animated movie would probably go straight to video. But “Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers” would be a great fit in Disney’s family line-up, since it takes place in the real world, but is told from the perspective of a ragtag group of rodents (and one housefly) who solve mysteries that mankind is completely unaware of, but continually threatened by.
The trick with “Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers” would be translating the series’ sense of adventure without transforming it into another Alvin & The Chipmunks or The Smurfs, film franchises that assume the juxtaposition of somewhat realistic CGI characters into the “real” world is fundamentally interesting enough that the story is meaningless. The stories in “Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers” were for children, true, but also well written and exciting. With a little more emphasis on Indiana Jones-styled adventuring, “Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers” could be a great family film amidst a sea of crap ones.
Those who remember the 1980s animated series “The World of David the Gnome” still remember it’s sweeping theme song and its novel premise. At a time when most hit cartoon shows were about comedy nonsense and robots beating up on each other, “The World of David the Gnome” told the story of a happily married gnome who works as a doctor in an enchanted forest plagued with trolls. It was fun to watch, but it usually took itself as seriously as a Studio Ghibli production, and that’s what would make “The World of David the Gnome” such a great movie. There’s a kindness to the series, and an emphasis on curing the world’s ills rather than simply fighting them, and the trolls were scary enough to keep the suspense high while the rest of the movie focuses on more beautiful notions and imagery. In the right hands, a “The World of David the Gnome” movie could be a unique entry in the fantasy film stable. In the wrong hands, it would be another Gnomeo & Juliet.
There aren’t enough adventure movies catering to women, and that’s partly because there were never enough adventure stories catering to young girls. Saturday morning cartoon shows have always placed a heavier emphasis on traditional boyhood fixations like cars, robots and dinosaurs, and that’s one of the reasons why “Sailor Moon” was so successful. There was finally an animated adventure series with a mostly female cast, that embraced femininity but also empowered young girls to save the universe. And, for all the potential pervs in the audience, the teenaged cast all wore little tiny sailor uniforms. Talk about crossover appeal!
“Sailor Moon” has an enormous built-in audience, but it’s also a very weird program that embraces anime conventions that haven’t really caught on with American mainstream audiences yet. We’re not saying that “Sailor Moon” needs a grim and gritty reboot, but any filmmaker daring enough to take on a Sailor Moon movie either needs to find a way to ground the series’ zaniness in some form of reality, or attack its quirkiness head on and risk overloading the audience’s senses like Speed Racer did in 2008. Speed Racer was a notorious box office bomb, by the way, so a Sailor Moon movie is a dicey – but still potentially very cool – proposition.
“The Pirates of Dark Water” is a bittersweet memory for fans of action-fantasy TV shows. Conceived as an ongoing storyline, the adventures of Prince Dern to find the Thirteen Treasures of Rule, and save the alien planet of Mer from the mysterious Dark Water that’s devouring it, was cancelled after only eight of the treasures had been collected. Fans of “Pirates of Dark Water” have often bemoaned the series’ anticlimactic finale, and with the series too much of a distant memory to finish on TV, a film adaptation would probably be the best way to resurrect the storyline.
“The Pirates of Dark Water” would be an expensive film, since it takes place on an alien planet with lots of fantastical creatures and expensive pirate movie production design, but the cast of characters, distinctive story and high-seas adventure mentality would at least make it a marketable one. Alas, the budget necessary to faithfully adapt “The Pirates of Dark Water,” and the relatively small (no matter how dedicated) audience of fans probably wouldn’t encourage many studios to take a risk on the property. But it would still make a great film, damn it, and we will continue to hold out hope for a major motion picture, and indeed any conclusion to this beloved show.
