The quickest way to initiate sex these days is via text message. There’s no talking on the phone, no need to find a computer and compose an email, or seek someone out in person. A few characters and the “send” button later, and you’re getting your tag hashed. (I don’t know that that means – let’s assume it’s sex.) Here are 12 funny examples of the popular #TextsThatLeadToSex hashtag:
Wink Text
#textsthatleadtosex Anything that ends with —–> 😉
— D▲NNY PH▲NTOM™ (@wizard_lee) March 12, 2012
Even “can you change the cat’s litter when you get home ;)”
Clever Text
#TextsThatLeadToSex GIRL: “Hey, whats up?” BOY: “If I tell you, will you sit on it ?
— Funny Tweets (@autocorrects) March 12, 2012
Up, up and away we go.
Sweet Text
#TextsThatLeadToSex I have nutella.
— Alex (@goeey) March 12, 2012
Nutella for sex is a win-win.
Football Text
#TextsThatLeadtoSex “I’m Tim Tebow…… and I lost my purity ring ;)”
— Tim Tebow (@TheTimmyTebow) March 12, 2012
I hope Tim Tebow begins all his texts with “I’m Tim Tebow.”
ASCII Text
#TextsThatLeadToSex“I want you to :0 my 8===D, then put it in your { }, so I can 8===D~on your ( . ) ( . ) “
— PAUL ΞTIΞNNΞ™ (@PaulEtienne) March 12, 2012
Remember cybering?
Magic Text
“Is your Chamber of Secrets open? My basilisk is ready.” #TextsThatLeadToSex
— Students of Hogwarts (@TheHogwartians) March 12, 2012
Who gets to wear the Sorting Hat?
Lovin’ This Text
#TextsThatLeadToSex “I’ll get you chicken nuggets.”
— fuck u (@Courtneyp0yntz) March 12, 2012
Tonight, your apartment becomes the ultimate PlayPlace.
Anime Text
#TextsThatLeadToSex – I’m a Pokémon Master
— Brock (@BrockStaysHigh) March 12, 2012
I choose you… for sex!
Quick Text
#textsthatleadtosexwanna make a quick 100 dollars?
— Na’im Lynn (@Naimthestar) March 12, 2012
Get the girl to come over by promising $100 for some light housework, then ask her out on a proper date, go out two more times and then – BAM! You’re doin’ it.
Classy Text
#textsthatleadtosex are you off ya period yet ??
— Dirk Task Gross (@DirkSmoove) March 12, 2012
This is called “setting the mood.”
Super Text
#TextsThatLeadToSexI’m Batman
— Leinil Yu (@leinilyu) March 12, 2012
That stuff about his dead parents? Kills with the ladies.
Direct Text
#TextsThatLeadToSex “Would you like to have sexual intercourse with me?”
— Michael Foss (@Fossphate) March 12, 2012
Niiiiiiiice.
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Header via.
