You may have thought that the scariest video you’d ever watched on YouTube was the one of the fat guy jiggling his ample man-breasts to Kelis’ ‘Milkshake’, but if that’s the case then clearly you haven’t been bored enough to search “scary ghost videos” and scroll through an hours worth of this crap (Real Ghost Caught on Tape!) to finally get to a clip that vaguely resembles a deleted scene from Paranormal Activity.
Fortunately for you I have, so here are my top 5 findings from the creepiest depths of the ‘net. I would advise you to hide behind your sofa, but as you’re going to need to scroll down to read the rest of this article then it’s probably best that you remain seated. Sorry I spoiled all the fun.
5. Ghost Girl
I know that it’s a tired cliche to start off with a video featuring that most overused of horror villains, the “creepy ghost girl with long hair covering her creepy ghost girl face”, but this combines said creepy ghost girl with grainy video and a couple of indecipherable accents.
4. Railroad Suicide Victim
In the Western world game shows are limited to tedious games of heads ‘n’ tails or general knowledge quizzes. In Japan they show attractive females footage of ghosts, who then assess the clips with unknowledgeable insight, all while being subtitled by someone with a very minimal grasp of the English language.
3. “I have the body of a pig”
If you were to bump into a malevolent demon, you probably wouldn’t expect it to state that it had the body of a pig. Then again, you probably wouldn’t expect to bump into a malevolent demon. Regardless of whether or not this spirit does actually inhabit the body of a farmyard animal (the photograph seems to suggest that the little bugger is telling lies), it’s bloody creepy nonetheless.
2. The Mirror Girl
Oh look. Another ghost video featuring an 8-year-old girl. Let me guess, she turns around and her eyes and mouth go black? The demon from the Exorcist pops up on the screen and loud music blares through my speakers? You’re not going to scare me this time, stupid vid – wait… wh… what’s that?! OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE.
1. Alien in the woods
Some have claimed that this is footage of the chupacabra. Others have claimed that it is a fallen angel, or a visiting alien. Personally I believe it is a video clip of Gollum taking a shit in the woods, but whichever way you look at it, it’s still the scariest video on all of the YouTubez. Bravo to whoever filmed this, you either have certifiable evidence of the existence of mythical creatures on Earth, or way too much time and money on your hands.
