Rogue Delivery Robot Found in Woods, Can a Horny Machine Get Some Privacy?

Everybody needs a breather now and then. And what better place to take a break than in the woods, where you can be alone, collect your thoughts, and leave your tech behind. Or so you think. Nature bathing is all well and good until you run into a robot, doing the same thing.

That’s what happened to Matthew McCormack, a history professor at the University of Northampton in England. He was on a bike ride one Sunday morning when he crossed through Lings Wood Nature Reserve…and happened upon a self-driving delivery robot.

The bot was all systems go, with its antenna raised and lights flashing. It was headed down a dirt path enclosed on both sides by foliage…almost as if it was on some kind of contemplative stroll like the romantic poets used to take.

“It’s kind of a bit sci-fi, you know?” McCormack told BuzzFeed News. “It was like kind of R2-D2 or something just wandering along.”

Of course McCormack couldn’t help but take a pic and post it to his Twitter account. (You can take the human off of social media but you can’t take the social media away from humanity. Or something like that.)

On my bike ride this morning, saw a delivery robot lost in the woods pic.twitter.com/ygiH4Gyrl3

— Matthew McCormack (@historymatt) May 15, 2022

“On my bike ride this morning, saw a delivery robot lost in the woods,” he captured the image of the solitary bot.

The tweet went viral because this is the digital age and that’s what weird news like this tends to do. Twitter users had an array of theories about the strange sight.

“It’s making a break for freedom,” one commented. “God speed little robot follow your dreams.”

It’s making a break for freedom. God speed little robot follow your dreams.

— Margaret Brown (@MagsTheObscure) May 15, 2022

“Did a bear order toilet paper?” another asked.

Did a bear order toilet paper?

— Stiles Bitchley ✫✫ (@WeWhoDieSaluteU) May 15, 2022

“It took the road less algorithmed,” a third cleverly observed.

It took the road less algorithmed

— amnesiac (@gkkd) May 15, 2022

Our guess? It was just horny and needed a private place to jerk off.

Ah, well. You know what they say: Not all bots that wander are lost.

Cover Photo: Twitter