House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has been serving in Congress for 35 years. This means Ronald Reagan was still president when she was being sworn in. Seriously, Americans didn’t even have dial-up internet yet when this lady was passing legislation. If there ever were an argument for term limits, Nancy Pelosi would be atop that list. While she has done some good during her time in Congress, Pelosi has mostly fed at the trough of government and took big donor cash to remain in power.
Pelosi, who is running for her 18th term in Congress, became the first woman to hold the position of Speaker of the House in 2007, and was the highest-ranking female elected official in US history until Kamala Harris was elected vice-president in 2020.
In fact, Pelosi’s extensive time in office has been put into question quite a bit by the party’s younger members, such as Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of NY. Cortez, who is among the youngest members in Congress, has often been at odds with Pelosi.
“I do think that we need new leadership in the Democratic Party,” said AOC in an interview with the Intercept.
Nancy Pelosi has indicated her next term as speaker will be her last, but we all know she’ll be replaced by some other ancient in the Democratic party. That’s why we decided to come up with some more fitting occupations for House Speaker Pelosi.
Cover Photo: Joe Raedle (Getty Images)
5 Occupations Nancy Pelosi Might Be Better Suited For
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1. Mall Perfume Spritzer
If you're an elder millenial or Gen Xer, you recall malls being your stomping ground. But getting to Sam Goody or Merry-Go-Round sometimes meant you had to endure these scary old spritzers armed with a ginormous bottle of super pungent perfume. For whatever reason, JC Penny (Google it) thought it wise to hire these often elderly people to spray toxic fumes at people's faces as they were passing by. In any case, this seems like the perfect gig for Pelosi should they ever bring them back.
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2. Bingo Caller
We already know Bingo is basically a game people over the age of 75 play to pass the time before death. That's not to say that these games aren't any fun, especially when they involve cash prizes. But they're ultimately meant for Gramps and Pops. So who better than Pelosi to preside over these geriatric Olympic games as a caller?
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3. Cat-Clothing Seamstress
There are two kinds of older cat ladies: ones that are hoarding 20 felines at a time and leave milk around dumpsters; and then there's the more gentler and stable ones who simply knit sweaters and shoes for them. We believe Pelosi is the latter of the two.
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4. Fortune Teller
We don't know about you, but we just totally get fortune teller vibes from Pelosi. She just seems like that aunt that comes over with a bag full of healing crystals and sage, ready to read your fortune when you just want to play Xbox. So fortune teller is definitely a profession Madame Speaker is far more suited for.
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5. Consultant
When Pelosi doesn't look like a deer in the headlights, she just has that holier-than-thou look of superiority. What better way to impose judgement onto others than by coming in to review their job performance, ultimately having the power to fire you?
