For most kids growing up, your biggest fear is learning how you were conceived. Most of us deny this ever happened and are sticking with the stork theory. But a pretty close second is one of your parents walks in on you and your partner doing some Nat Geo wild reenactment. You can try and tell mom and dad that it’s just an assignment for health class, but that may hurt your cause even more. For example, this could lead to the ever-so painful and embarrassing “sex” discussion.
But if you come from an Italian household, there are even bigger embarrassments that can lead to great shame and dishonor. For example, getting caught eating pizza with a knife and fork.
A 16-year-old Italian teen is being disowned by his Italian dad after discovering him doing something unspeakably perverse: eating a slice of pizza with a knife and fork. Fuhgeddaboutit! This act of perversion was apparently so severe that it resulted in little Paulie getting removed from the will.
“Hey, I know kids these days are doing all types of weird things, you know, like Cosplaying anime characters and stupid dances on TikTok. But I’d prefer my son tell me he wants to be a fluffer or anything more respectable than eating a slice of pizza with a fork and knife,” said Paulie Sr. “There’s just no the way I can continue living my life and saving up money knowing that it may go to some weirdo who thinks this is acceptable behavior.”
The Italian man’s son says that he was just experimenting and didn’t even like eating pizza with a fork and knife.
“Look, I would never want to make my super Italian dad upset. One of my Italian friends just said how dirty and edgy he felt eating a slice of pizza with a fork and knife and I guess I just caved,” said Paulie Jr.
The moral of the story is that if you’re an Italian teenager and looking to experiment with pizza, make sure you’ve got a good lock on your door.
Cover Photo: Janja Milosevic / EyeEm (Getty Images)
Weird News 3.15.22
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