Hank the Tank is on the lam. But the odds of Lake Tahoe’s most notorious burglar bear evading police are slim to none. Because Hank can no longer hide behind trees or move stealthily through the quiet wood due to being 300 pounds overweight from his addiction to pizza and ice cream.
In the past six months alone, Hank has burgled over 50 homes and cased another 100 in search of goodies. While all his fellow bear people have been fast asleep in their caves, Hank has opted to skip hibernation this year in order to pig out on the resort town’s buffet-style offerings.
Now his addiction to junk food is landing him in hot water, with authorities ready to bring the burglar bear in dead or alive.
“He’s not subsisting on a diet of ants and berries like a lot of wild bears do,” a Fish and Wildlife spokesman said. “In Tahoe, there’s year-round access to high caloric food – whether we’re talking about leftover pizza or ice cream or just trash, it’s easier to find that kind of food than to work for hours to remove grubs from a dead log.”
Seriously, who would spend hours searching for ooze-filled grubs when you can just walk up to a house, smash down the front door, and raid the pantry of Pop Chips and M&Ms?
Of course, Hank isn’t the only California beast forfeiting existence in the wild for a taste of the sweet life. In San Diego, a sea lion blocked freeway traffic for the second time this year in an effort to score some Arby’s curly fries. While the sea lion hasn’t been charged with any robberies, it’s only a matter of time before the relentless pull of junk food seduces yet another wild animal into a life of crime.
Cover Photo: Freder (Getty Images)
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