Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg Wants His Employees to Call Each Other This Ridiculous Nickname

It used to be that people were clamoring to work for Facebook. It was the cool employer with perks galore, an awesome campus, and an unconventional leader. But now, Mark Zuckerberg has been exposed for the dangerous weirdo he is, and Facebook has become just another evil empire that requires too much of its employees.

The latest example? Zuckerberg has asked his minions to use a new nickname. While formerly known as “Facebookers,” those working at the company now known as Meta have been instructed to refer to one another as “Metamates.”

“Now is the right time to update our values and our cultural operating system,” Zuckerberg penned in a Facebook post after announcing the new protocol in a company-wide staff meeting.

Twitter – whose users have much sharper tongues than those on Facebook – was all over the news…and boy did they meta-mock it.

“Metamates report to the Metatorium for a Metameeting,” one jokester tweeted.

“Metamates? More like metastases,” another insulted those adopting the moniker.

“Sounds like a brand name for a condom,” a third opined.

Andrew Bosworth, chief technological officer at Meta’s Facebook division, tried to justify the “metamates” name by tracing it back to a Naval reference. But one employee quoted by the New York Times dared to ask, “Does this mean we are on a sinking ship?” in an internal company chat.

For his part, Zuckerberg kept pushing the company line, which was that calling one another “metamates” was a way of “being good stewards of our company and mission.”

“It’s about the sense of responsibility we have for our collective success and to each other as teammates. It’s about taking care of our company and each other,” he said.

Dude, every day that passes you sound more and more like a corporate overlord and less and less like an out-of-the-box innovator. Here’s hoping your “metamates” jump ship.

Cover Photo: Kevin Dietsch / Staff (Getty Images)

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