It seems to us like divorce is a gift in and of itself. The gift of freedom. Of promiscuity. Of the right to sit on the couch, scratching your balls, and eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos right out of the bag. But for some people, another chance at singledom isn’t enough. They want presents, damn it. That’s what divorce registries are for.
Fresh Starts Registry and Divorcist are two new companies that offer a divorce registry service. Their thinking is that people who divorce need stuff – because they just lost half of their home goods when they split up with their ex.
“There’s no place that celebrates these big life changes. We tend to celebrate babies and weddings, but not everything else in between,” Fresh Starts Registry founder Olivia Dreizen Howell (a divorcee herself) told The New York Post.
Fresh Starts doesn’t just focus on domestic essentials, either. It also helps users find attorneys, therapists, mortgage lenders, and even style coaches.
Divorcist is similar, if less celebratory.
“Our mission is to make divorce and separation dignified,” co-founder Eliza Cussen told the Post. “We really saw the need … Women get the concept immediately — we’re trying to elevate divorce, separation and breakups to the same status as a life event. Not a happy one, but one that deserves recognition.”
The one thing you can’t buy on these registries? Love. But by the time you’ve finalized a divorce, you’re probably done with that bullshit anyway.
Cover Photo: David Cleveland (Getty Images)
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