Crows are nature’s mistake. Seriously, why do these ugly, screeching birds exist? All they do is shit on everything – literally. A suburban town in northern California is being reminded of this daily as 1,000 crows recently descended and started letting their bowels loose all over the place.
Sunnyvale (which might want to reconsider its name after this debacle) is struggling to rid itself of the winged beasts.
“The streets are basically riddled with crow poo,” Mayor Larry Klein told the New York Times of the birds, who emerge at night to misbehave.
“I’ll go inside unless I’m under an umbrella,” resident Frank Hampton told CNN. “The city has tried everything to get the birds to find a new spot, but all success has been short lived.”
The latest attempt to rid the city of crows is to hire three city workers to beam lasers and blare sounds into the sky to disorient the birds and prevent them from making their nests there.
“The biggest thing is to harass them enough so a large percentage of them find new homes,” Klein said.
Vice Mayor Alysa Cisneros suggested that the town launch a “crow festival” if the flock won’t flee. Residents agreed – over 87 percent of those who responded to a Twitter poll said they’d attend such an event.
It was just suggested to me that if we can’t actually make the crows leave, that Sunnyvale start having an annual crow festival. Would you come?
— Vice Mayor Alysa Cisneros (@AlysaCisneros) January 17, 2022
We have an even better idea: the city should trademark this disaster and make a kick-ass VR video game out of it. We can already predict we’d get addicted to it.
Cover Photo: Dragan Todorovic (Getty Images)
MORE NEWS:
Entertainment News 1 15 21
-
Megan Fox Engaged to Machine Gun Kelly in One of the Weirdest Instagram Proposals Ever (We Wouldn’t Expect Anything Less)
Read more here.
Photo: Instagram
-
Mandatory Tweets: Reese Witherspoon’s Take on NFTs, Crypto and Metaverse Is Not a Popular One on Twitter (And We’re Loving It)
Read more here.
Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic (Getty Images)
-
Ina Garten Hilariously Claps Back at Reese Witherspoon’s Healthy Habits, Nails Our 2022 Resolutions in a Single Spot-On Comment
Read more here.
Photo: Daytime Emmy Awards 2021 / Contributor and Matt Winkelmeyer / Staff (Getty Images)
-
Leonardo DiCaprio Has Tree Named After Him, How They Missed ‘Treenardo DiCaprio’ Is Beyond Us
Read more here.
Photo: Jemal Countess (Getty Images)
-
Mandatory Tweets: The Weeknd Song Drops Major Hints He’s Hooking Up With Angelina Jolie (Do You Buy It?)
Read more here.
Photo: Leon Bennett (Getty Images)
-
‘The Batman’ Releases Official Images of Riddler and Penguin, Proving Money Is Tight For Everyone Right Now
Read more here.
Photo: Warner Bros.
-
‘Bel-Air’ Trailer Features Return of the Fresh Prince, We Swear This Is Not a Parody (It’s Not a Parody, Right?)
Read more here.
Photo: Peacock
-
Meanwhile in Marvel: Bill Murray Confirms He’s A Bad Guy in ‘Ant-Man 3,’ We Weren’t Aware Wes Anderson Was Directing That One
Read more here.
Photo: Kate Green / Stringer (Getty Images)
-
Clay Aiken Running For Congress (Again), Clearly Needs Infectiously Terrible Campaign Jingle
Read more here.
Photo: Jeffrey A. Camarati / Stringer (Getty Images)
-
Our 13 Favorite Ricky Gervais Funny GIFs in Time For ‘After Life’ Season 3
Read more here.
Photo: Netflix
![Who Is [Spoiler's] Killer on General Hospital?](https://www.mandatory.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2024/12/General-Hospital-Sonny-Dex-Mandatory.jpg?w=182&h=122&crop=1)
