When the going gets weird, the weird get weirder. Don’t believe us? Just look at the past year. We all thought 2020 was as bizarre as life could get, but when the first week of 2021 started off with a Capitol Riot and only got crazier from there, we knew we were witnessing history. Remember when the QAnon Shaman refused to eat non-organic food in jail? Or when Jeff Bezos shot his dick-shaped rocket into outer space? How about the rise of bendy penises?
Ah, memories.
While it’s easy to want to shove away the events of 2021 like a plate of old spaghetti, sometimes it’s better to take stock of our mistakes so we can repeat them again next year. Louder. Faster. Weirder.
What better way to prepare for tomorrow than by ranking the weirdest news of today? As we say farewell to an unforgettable (and mostly regrettable) trip around the sun, let’s remember all the heroes who made 2021 the weirdest year yet. Please raise a glass as we toast to the real-life stories vying to be crowned the champion of weird in 2021.
Cover Photo: tihomir_todorov (Getty Images)
Weird News 2021 Ranked
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15. Woman Fakes Own Wedding to Get Revenge on Ex-Boyfriend, TikTok’s Response Makes It an Absolutely Hilarious Misfire
Read more here.
Photo: mixetto (Getty Images)
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14. Zoom Fails: Ohio Senator Wearing Seatbelt With Fake Background While Driving Fools Nobody, Ironically on the Day to Ban Distracted Driving
Read more here.
Photo: Twitter
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13. Putin Voted Russia’s Sexiest Man By 2,000 People, Other 144 Million Votes Misplaced (Odd)
Read more here.
Photo: Alexei Nikolsky (Getty Images)
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12. Woman Hospitalized For Having Never-Ending Orgasm, Can’t Say the Doctor Is the First Place We Would Go
Read more here.
Photo: TLC
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11. Meanwhile in England: Naked Revelers Overtake Sherwood Forest, Bring Graphic New Meaning to the Term Merry Men
Read more here.
Photo: tihomir_todorov (Getty Images)
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10. Awesome Mom Uses Deepfake Nudes to Frame Daughter’s Cheerleading Rivals, That’s the Spirit
Read more here.
Photo: Britt Erlanson (Getty Images)
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9. Meanwhile in Russia: Obese Woman Smothers Husband to Death With Her Butt (It’s How He Would’ve Wanted to Go)
Read more here.
Photo: East2WestNews
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8. Meanwhile in Texas: Pro-life Website Created to Snitch on Women Bombarded By Furry Porn Spam (Finally, A Good Use For the Internet)
Read more here.
Photo: RichLegg (Getty Images)
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7. Meanwhile in India: Man Dies After Gluing His Penis Hole Shut, And Now Our Worst Nightmares Are Real
Read more here.
Photo: Anut21ng (Getty Images)
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6. Woman Caught Breastfeeding Hairless Cat on a Delta Flight, Really Milking the On-Board Pet Policy
Read more here.
Photo: Holly Koffler / EyeEm (Getty Images)
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5. Vegan Bodybuilder Swears by ‘Semen Smoothies’ to Keep COVID Away
Read more here.
Photo: @tracykissfitness (Instagram)
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4. ‘Dr. Magic Flute’ Told Patients He Could Cure Cancer With His Dick, And It Was One Hell of a Try
Read more here.
Photos: Newsflash
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3. Meanwhile in NFTs: Influencer Sells Her Love (Do These Things Come With a Receipt?)
Read more here.
Photo: instagram.com/martirenti
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2. Former Bishop Who Quit Church For Satanic Erotica Now Selling Pig Semen, A Sequel Sure to Make You Squeal
Read more here.
Photo: New York Post
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1. Scientists Just Unleashed a 100 TB Simulation of the Universe, And Yes We’re All in There Still Making Questionable Life Choices
Read more here.
Photo: fStop Images Caspar Benson (Getty Images)
