Remember back in the good ol’ days when we thought there was just one coronavirus, and it was called COVID-19, as in: all this shit started (and should have stayed) in 2019? Here we are, two years later, still dealing with this deadly and incredibly catchy disease, and COVID-19 seems downright optimistic in its name.
Over the past 24 months, we progressed to the Delta variant and now the Omicron variant. Both of these names were derived from Greek, a practice the World Health Organization started so that strains of diseases wouldn’t be identified with their place of origin (i.e. the “Wuhan virus” or the “South African variant”), which can contribute to racism and xenophobia.
But we can’t help but wonder: what other names other than Omicron were in the running? We let our imaginations run wild and came up with these eight ridiculous name rejects for the new Covid variant. Scroll on and see if any of them strike you as clever or inspire a laugh. Have any other suggestions? We’d love to hear them!
Cover Photo: Olga Siletskaya (Getty Images)
omicron variant
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The Clusterfuck Variant
Because what other word fits our current reality better than this?
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The Dennis Reynolds Variant
Something's wrong with this guy and we all know it.
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The Malarkey Variant
Joe Biden's favorite word is perfect for his biggest obstacle while in office.
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The Nincompoop Variant
We just like how it sounds, OK?
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The Redneck Variant
Because we all know who's spreading this shit around...
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The Snuffleupagus Variant
Dude always has a stuffy nose.
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The Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Variant
Say it three times fast.
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The Ragnarök Variant
The end is near, people.
