omicron
Cosplayer dressed as Goku in his Supersaiyen Blue form from Dragon Ball at Birmingham MCM Comic Con.

Breaking: Minnesota Man With Omicron Variant Attended New York Anime Convention, The Horniest Place For Young People

Put enough horny nerds in one room and it’s bound to happen: disease transmission. Unfortunately, we aren’t talking about STIs (for which there are effective treatments); we’re talking about the new Omicron variant of coronavirus, which was apparently circulating at a recent anime convention in New York City at the Javits Center.

How do we know? Because a man who attended the conference returned to his home in Minnesota and tested positive for the virus and the variant.

Here’s the White House briefing on the matter if you want to bore yourself to tears.

The anonymous dude is the first person from the state best known for being the sometime home of Bob Dylan, Prince, or Lizzo (depending on which niche of pop culture you’re into) infected with the Omicron variant.

“This news is concerning, but it is not a surprise,” Gov. Tim Walz said in a press release. “We know that this virus is highly infectious and moves quickly throughout the world. Minnesotans know what to do to keep each other safe now—get the vaccine, get tested, wear a mask indoors, and get a booster. Together, we can fight this virus and help keep Minnesotans safe.”

The irony, of course, is that the infected man (who experienced mild symptoms and has since recovered) was vaccinated and, presumably, wearing a mask at the conference. In fact, the event required face coverings and at least one dose of the Covid vaccine for all attendees. And yet, that pesky coronavirus spread anyway, all stealth and determined just like the aforementioned STIs.

Perhaps full-body condoms are the wave of the future? Let’s see an anime about that.

Cover Photo: ColobusYeti (Getty Images)

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