Mandatory Tweets: The Funniest ‘Check Your Kid’s Halloween Candy’ Jokes on Twitter

Halloween is all about the scares. But some of them aren’t related to goblins or ghouls, skeletons or serial killers – they’re concerning children’s candy. News stations, police departments, and helicopter parents on social media love to sound the alarm about harmful stuff being discovered in kids’ Halloween treats – everything from razor blades to THC.

But as with most things, the internet has had its way with the holiday fear-mongering, and turned it into a meme. People from all walks of life have taken to Twitter with their unique versions of a warning about what you might discover if you delve into a kid’s candy stash. From pop culture references to dad joke-style barbs, all you need is a picture of a candy bar and some basic Photoshop skills to partake in the frenzy.

These are the funniest “check your kid’s Halloween candy” jokes on Twitter.

Cover Photo: Twitter

Make sure you check all candy! These things happen ALL the time pic.twitter.com/f0YFSPkXTV

— MattGPT (@MattColgan28) September 28, 2021

Be sure to check your kid's Halloween candy. My little sister found the Water Temple from Ocarina of Time inside her Mars Bar pic.twitter.com/MZZlE7pmCV

— Ewan Moore (@EMoore_) October 19, 2021

holy heck

be sure to check your kid's halloween candy. my little brother found balan wonderworld for the nintendo switch inside of his hershey chocolate bar wrapper. pic.twitter.com/QtyyYXFwJN

— Ben Bertoli! (@SuperBentendo) October 18, 2021

Reminder to PLEASE check your kid’s Halloween candy! Just saw that my nephews received a Hattori Hanzo sword in their Kit Kats despite him retiring almost 30 years ago! Unbelievable! I asked my Bud and he said it really was a Hattori Hanzo sword! ? pic.twitter.com/QPQRTzTKDX

— melissa (@mechamelissa) October 20, 2021

parents, please be sure to check your kid's halloween candy. last year I found the eyes of Nidhogg in my child's snickers bar. pic.twitter.com/XY5LvwTjkz

— Noga (@NogaAlr) October 21, 2021

check your kids halloween candy. my cousin found larry david wearing women's panties inside a snickers bar. pic.twitter.com/owHnPIq9Uy

— no context curb your enthusiasm (@ProManimalUnity) October 19, 2021

be sure to check your kid's halloween candy. we found gustave courbet's 1866 painting l'origine du monde in our child's milky way, and we didn't even put it there pic.twitter.com/2SnWvcKB1W

— Vagina Museum (@vagina_museum) October 20, 2021

Parents, be sure to check your kid's halloween candy. I found pro bird propaganda inside this snickers bar. pic.twitter.com/JJQpNJ2Ncv

— Birds Aren't Real (@birdsarentreal) October 21, 2021

https://twitter.com/ThatGuy3002/status/1451289783519662084?s=20

check your kid’s halloween candy. my cousin found Grammy-winning 1999 hit Smooth by Santana feat. Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty inside a snickers bar pic.twitter.com/rTaRV2Daib

— your favorite Leo’s favorite Leo (@VernorsHerzog) October 19, 2021

https://twitter.com/directedbyrian/status/1453093151707697156?s=20

parents, PLEASE check your kid's halloween candy. last year, my son found my bloody valentine's 1991 shoegaze masterpiece "loveless" in his snicker's bar. pic.twitter.com/ZRdNrUJtF3

— kate bush's husband (@airbagged) October 23, 2021

Be sure to check your kids' Halloween candy. One of our players found Junkrat's Experimental Card patch notes inside his Mars Bar. pic.twitter.com/dwvi3WyNKJ

— NRG Shock (@SFShock) October 22, 2021

Don't forget to check your kid's candy… last year someone hid an entire ꜰʀᴀꜱɪᴇʀ'ꜱ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛᴍᴇɴᴛ in this twix pic.twitter.com/Tm8PivRIYA

— Daily Frasier (@DailyFrasier) October 20, 2021

https://twitter.com/motelamanda/status/1450491646064439297?s=20

https://twitter.com/shizly/status/1450630892112670726?s=20

parents, please check your kid’s halloween candy. my niece bit into a snickers bar and found a mixed-use development with first floor retail space and market rate apartments pic.twitter.com/fRofgoFqya

— Lansing Facts ? (@LansingMIFacts) October 19, 2021

everyone be sure to check your kid's halloween candy, my little brother found coleslaw inside of his candy bar pic.twitter.com/0KzmMCLg94

— New Jersey Memes (@newjerseymemes) October 26, 2021

Parents, please be sure to check your kids' Halloween candy. Last year I found Paul Thomas Anderson's rarely-circulated 2000 SNL short film starring Ben Affleck as an abandoned teenager and Molly Shannon as Anna Nicole Smith in my child's Snickers bar. pic.twitter.com/v6DS2vB56o

— Ethan Warren (@Ethan_Warren_) October 24, 2021

Please be sure to check your kid’s Halloween candy. Just found proof that as union membership declines income inequality increases inside a Laffy Taffy. #Striketober pic.twitter.com/K656Mu1Sfy

— AFL-CIO ✊ (@AFLCIO) October 21, 2021

Please check your kids Halloween Candy this year, I just found a copy of Rich Dad Poor Dad in one ?? pic.twitter.com/7fGGveBg9Q

— Matt (@matthewesp) October 15, 2021