Diets are hard. Ex-girlfriends suck. And alcohol keeps sending you flirtatious texts after you asked for a break and you’re starting to buckle. Don’t worry, we got you. This video of a monster-sized alligator has all the rage, empathy, and health food snack advice you need to get you through Sober October.
Never mind all the valid reasons you came up with to quit drinking; better sleep; lower risk of cancer and heart disease; the reclamation of your facial creases burrowed so deep they leave lines in your pillow – you need something to take the edge off.
Like the sight of a six-foot gator getting swallowed whole by an ancient reptilian monstrosity. Strip away all the meme fodder, the symbolism of corporations cannibalizing man, and the weird sudden craving to down a bowl of linguini and clams, and you have the one thing you’ve been missing in your life: Not alcohol, but the savage brutality of nature at its rawest.
As it turns out, the feral side of nature is more nonchalant than Bill Murray at a wine tasting. Take a look:
What a relief.
So next time you’re in the middle of a god-awful diet and start craving a donut, a slice of cheese, or a cold glass of beer, just remember this alligator, and f——g eat whatever you want like the champ you are. Life’s too short to dwell in the quasi, you gotta take big gulps of delicious before some giant unseen shadow lurking in the depths swoops up and has you for breakfast. Glad we finally talked about this.
Cover Photo: Stephanie Von Rüden / EyeEm (Getty Images)
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