Photo: fatihhoca (Getty Images)
The world is a lot different than it was at the beginning of 2020. Back then, there was no global pandemic. In the almost two years since, we’ve grown used to wearing masks indoors, social distancing, waiting to get vaccines, and being overly cautious about strangers. This has become our new normal. We’ve also gotten used to the idea that if we get Covid-19 there’s a chance we’ll get really sick, end up in the hospital, and if we don’t die, have some lingering, strange ailment. We’re talking loss of sense of taste, lung problems, memory issues, and various other things. What we’d never expect is to get something called “restless anal syndrome”, but that’s exactly what a Japanese patient was recently diagnosed with.
Similar (we think) to the much more common restless leg syndrome, a 77-year-old Japanese man was diagnosed with a much shittier version. The patient at Tokyo Medical University Hospital had spent 21 days recovering from Covid-19. He went home supposedly fully recovered only to return with a strange ailment.
He told doctors he felt “deep anal discomfort” between his anus and genitals. It made him constantly feel like he had to go to the bathroom. And we’re talking number two, not number one. Sadly, sitting on the toilet gave him no respite from his taint troubles.
A colonoscopy didn’t show anything out of the ordinary. This is when they diagnosed him with a neurological ailment similar to restless leg syndrome. And while this is something new for sure, doctors have prescribed the man a daily sedative to stop his anal spasms.
Apparently, in the months since his initial diagnosis, he’s gotten better so there’s hope his butthole will eventually go back to normal. The moral of the story? Get a poke or you might feel like you have to poop all the time.
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