Ah, America. The land where anybody can become a political figure, experience be damned. The latest election upset is about to kick off in California, where Governor Gavin Newsom is likely on his way out, and about to be replaced by…well, any number of nobodies who have no business being in politics.
There are 46 candidates on the Sept. 14 ballot, and their professional descriptions are colorful, crazy, and indicative of how little they bring to the table – and how low our democracy has sunk. We hand-selected 10 of the funniest for your amusement – because the state of our government is apparently a laughing matter.
Cover Photo: Justin Sullivan / Staff (Getty Images)
CA Recall
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Angelyne: Entertainer
We all know that "entertainer" is a euphemism for stripper, sex worker, etc., right?
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Heather Collins: Business Owner/Hairstylist
Because good hair is a key factor in election success.
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John R. Drake: Student
Because why learn about the political process in a classroom when you could learn on the job?
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Sam L. Gallucci: Pastor/CEO/Consultant
It seems like being a pastor and a CEO would be a conflict of interest, but if God doesn't have a problem with it, we guess we don't, either.
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David Hillberg: Aircraft Mechanic/Actor
Because everyone in California is an aspiring actor, even your friendly aircraft mechanic.
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Patrick Kilpatrick: Actor/Screenwriter/Producer
...and every aspiring actor in California wants to do more than act.
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Steve Chavez Lodge: Retired Homicide Detective
A background working with dirty, rotten criminals should come in handy in politics.
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Robert C. Newman II: Farmer/Psychologist
What do you suppose this guy specializes in? Brain food?
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Dennis Richter: Retail Store Worker
Finally! Someone who understands the importance of minimum wage.
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Nickolas Wildstar: Musician/Entrepreneur/Writer
Guaranteed to have the catchiest campaign song.
