Meanwhile in New York: Private School Teaches First Graders Masturbation, Can’t Wait For Second Base, Err Grade

Some children’s private schools come with a seriously hefty price tag. But when they offer a healthy lunch and comprehensive curriculum on masturbation, you’ve gotta think $50,000 a year isn’t all that steep.

Despite the bargain, some parents were livid after discovering that first graders at The Dalton School in Manhattan had been taught about masturbation and consent as part of their standard coursework. The irony is, the lessons were given without the parents’ consent.

A teacher at The Dalton School allegedly showed students a video from the cartoon series “AMAZE” in which a little boy asks, “Hey, how come sometimes my penis gets big and points up in the air.” When the cartoon teacher responds matter-of-factly, “That’s called an erection,” the boy adds (to no in particular), “Sometimes I touch my penis because it feels good.”

When a little girl chimes in with a similar story, the cartoon cuts to a diagram of the clitoris. See for yourself (at the 1:48 mark):

Boy, has sex education come a long way.

We remember a time when masturbation was learned through rumors, whispered to one another via a surreptitious game of telephone where the original information was told to a neighbor kid by an uncle who was passing through town on his way to Hong Kong. (A rite of passage probably reserved for public school kids.)

While many argue that kids are growing up way too fast these days with unrestricted access to information, it’s probably better they get accurate details from a trained professional administering a nationally approved curriculum.

But if first grade seems a smidge young to teach about sex, parents weren’t even upset about the graphic nature of The Dalton School’s sex education. They were much angrier about first graders learning the concept of consent after kids came home refusing to go near their grandparents who were visiting from Connecticut.

One mother expressed her frustration perfectly. “I’m paying $50,000 to these a–holes to tell my kid not to let her grandfather hug her when he sees her?”

All we can say is, you get what you pay for. And hey, Angry Prep School Mom, if you think that’s bad, just wait until you see what’s in store for second grade.

Cover Photo: Casarsa (Getty Images)

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