By now, you, like the rest of the world, have heard the news that Bill Gates and Melinda Gates, his wife of 27 years, are getting divorced. The pair released a statement on their respective Twitter accounts earlier this week announcing the news.
— Bill Gates (@BillGates) May 3, 2021
The press, the internet, and social media all went wild when they heard that 65-year-old Gates (aka the fourth richest man in the world with an estimated net worth of $124 billion) would soon be single again. Fans and foes of the Microsoft founder alike began to speculate about how far gold-diggers – of all sexual orientations and gender identities – would go to become his next spouse.
While Gates had no prenup with Melinda, he’s bound to be smarter if he gets hitched again, so the chances that anyone would cash in on a romantic relationship with the now full-time philanthropist are slim. But that doesn’t mean a broke-ass person can’t hope.
Here are the 10 ridiculous things men and women are willing to do to get a shot with the newly single Bill Gates.
Cover Photo: NICHOLAS KAMM / Contributor (Getty Images)
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Bill Gates Divorce
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Get a third dose of the Covid vaccine.
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take. Shoot your shot.
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Give up their beloved Apple devices.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who use Apple products and the rest of us. If you’re an Apple product devotee, it’s time to break up with your beloved devices.
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Use Outlook.
It really is the worst email program ever, but it's what you'll have to use to send Bill naughty missives from here on out.
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Donate their entire life savings to charity.
Bill and Melinda Gates have donated at least $50 billion to charity since 1994. You have some catching up to do.
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Start playing tennis.
It’s the rich people’s sport. Fake it ‘til you make it.
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Stop eating breakfast.
Melinda Gates once told Betsy Layne High School students that Mr. Gates usually skips breakfast. Enjoy that cold glass of water!
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Feign an interest in rare books.
Rumor has it his library is enormous.
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Learn the rules of bridge.
He’s old. Don’t act surprised it’s his go-to card game.
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Date Jeff Bezos to make Gates jealous.
These two have got to be the richest dudes in the Newly Divorced Club -- but Bezos is currently richer. Time to stoke Gates' competitive drive.
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Drop all expectations of sexual satisfaction.
They say he named his company Microsoft after his junk, after all...
