Marjorie Taylor Greene
WASHINGTON, DC - FEBRUARY 5: Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) speaks during a press conference outside the U.S. Capitol on February 5, 2021 in Washington, DC. The House voted 230 to 199 on Friday evening to remove Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) from committee assignments over her remarks about QAnon and other conspiracy theories. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Laser-Beam Prototype Aimed at Mosquitoes Awaits Expected Backfire From Marjorie Taylor Green

By Ken Franklin

Marjorie Taylor Greene is becoming the fly in the ointment around Capitol Hill. That’s because the freshman Republican congresswoman will do just about anything (except actual work) to grab herself more attention, controversy, and fundraising dollars. So we wouldn’t be surprised if she got her hands on a new Russian-made prototype laser beam designed to eradicate flies. She just better be careful it doesn’t backfire like so many of her other grand schemes.

Taylor Greene has had a momentous run of snafus since taking office on Jan. 3. She boldly filed articles of impeachment against Joe Biden the day after his inauguration. She accused Guam of being a foreign country, leading the Governor’s Office of the U.S. territory to offer her welcome-to-reality cookies. And she’s repeatedly called a motion to adjourn the House, a pointless gambit that’s turned at least 40 members of her own party against her. (We’re not even going to mention her closet full of QAnon theories, gun memorabilia, and anti-Semitism.)

With her love of semi-automatic weapons, Jewish space lasers, and gimmicks, it’s only a matter of time before Taylor Greene invites her fellow Representatives to hold forth on the North Lawn of The President’s Park so she can show off her beta-phase mosquito laser beam.

The laser, which purportedly zaps up to two mosquitoes per second, uses a 450-nanometer wavelength powerful enough to toast a small bug and blind anyone who looks directly at it. While it’s more of a thought experiment than a Sharper Image bestseller at this point, the bug neutralizer could become a game-changer for the human race, as mosquitoes kill more people than any other animal in the world.

But is it powerful enough to stop a human-sized fly sitting on a mound of her own bullshit?

Cover Photo: Marjorie Taylor Greene

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Ken Franklin
Ken Franklin

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