spring break
Group of young people having fun on the beach. Drinking beer and making selfie. Girls with bikini, boys with casual clothes. Sea and sky on background.

This College Is Paying Students Not to Travel Over Spring Break, Says You Can Get Drunk, Naked and Ruin Your Life at Home Just Fine This Year

Spring break is almost here – and you know what that means: throngs of drunk, swimsuit-clad co-eds acting wild and crazy in tropical places. But this year, just like 2020, experts are urging caution because of the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. One college is even incentivizing its students to skip the standard undergrad experience altogether – with cold, hard cash.

The University of California in Davis is offering students $75 if they stay put during their March 20-24 break.

“As per state guidance, all non-essential travel should be avoided, and staying local is a good way to do your part in slowing the spread of COVID-19,” UC Davis wrote in an Instagram post. “Planning a staycation for spring break? Get $75 to add some excitement to your week and support a local Davis business by applying for the @HealthyDavisTogether Spring Break Grant.”

There are different kinds of grants, from ‘Get Active’ and ‘Get Artsy’ to ‘Home Improvement’ and ‘Let’s Stay In,’ each of which is linked to a local business. Students then receive a gift card to the corresponding store.

While this is a brilliant idea in theory, in reality only 500 grants are available, and students must submit a proposal and application to qualify for one. They also have to schedule a Covid test during the break. (Pro tip for the administration: maybe don’t make it so difficult to be good? You’ve seen how students procrastinate on classwork, right?)

While the school has said the response has been positive so far, it’ll be interesting to see if students are really willing to give up their booze- and sex-fueled week of fun in the sun for a quiet time making art in their dorm rooms.

If we were in charge of this program, we would’ve gone with gift certificates to local food trucks, liquor stores, and streaming services – not to mention free condoms. Give the people what they want, right?

Cover Photo: valentinrussanov (Getty Images)

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