We could all use a little more fun in our lives right now. Even – especially – our dicks. Thankfully, a new Etsy shop is feelin’ us and coming to the rescue. It’s called Cock Couture and it consists of creative, handmade costumes for your penis.
The New York-based maker specializes in outfitting erections. Whether your johnson wants to be decked out in a tuxedo for a black-tie event, stylishly prepared for an impromptu fishing expedition, or has a firefighter fantasy, there’s an outfit in this shop for you. Batman, Spider-Man, and Superman fans can also order their favorite superhero’s uniform.
Prefer the phallic version of a clever T-shirt? Pick up a tee with cheeky phrases like “Wood you be mine,” “Stud muffin,” or “Bananas for you.”
The shop, which launched in 2016, is run by Sammy Jo, a woman who does everything from the sewing itself to the shipping.
“Cock Couture for all your phallus fashion needs,” she writes on the site. “Okay let’s be real, we’ve all received a phallus photo or ‘dicture’ and I’m on a personal mission to spruce up boring dickpics!! What started as a joke has blossomed into a small business.”
The rave reviews are many. Here are a handful:
“It’s funny & entertaining to wear. Looks great & fits perfectly.”
“These are so cute and adorable! So much fun, I love them!”
“Loved confusing and embarrassing him with this!”
“The shipping was discreet and fast! Just in time for Halloween!”
One satisfied customer, (in)appropriately named Long John, even posted a pic. Ahem.
And now to the question you’re all pondering: are there different sizes? By golly, yes. The shops offers a produce-themed sizing chart so you get the right fit, whether you’re hung like a carrot, banana, cucumber, or eggplant.
So what are you waiting for? It’s time to spoil your sausage with a new ensemble. Just make sure before you share a pic of your schlong in its new duds that your recipient truly consents to seeing it.
Cover Photo: CockCouture on Etsy
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