We’ve all made impulsive decisions and, in turn, commitments. Syllables and sounds just roll out of our mouths like beer out of a tap (especially if we’ve been drinking that beer). Sometimes our bodies just start moving as if by themselves, possessed by the trickster spirits that love nothing more than to turn the average Joe into a jackass. The next thing you know, you’re down on one knee with a makeshift ring alluding to forever. People start clapping, she starts crying, and all you can think about is how forever sounds like a really long time…
This was the case with Shawn Michaels (or that’s at least what we’re calling him for the sake of anonymity). Unlike the “Heartbreak Kid,” Shawn found himself lacking the tact to superkick his unpleasant situation in the chin. He wasn’t ready to get married, but the ball was rolling so fast it seemed unstoppable. Then it happened. 2020. The year where words like “commitment” or “consequences” carry different weight than in 2019. Events are being canceled and postponed left and right due to the coronavirus pandemic. Shawn’s brother, Bret Michaels, was furious when it was announced that college sports may be canceled this fall; Shawn, on the other hand, couldn’t stop smiling after his fiancée told him that they were postponing their wedding.
Before Jada Pinkett Smith’s bombshell “entanglement” reveal, Shawn thought that maybe he could strive towards “that Jada and Will love.” Unfortunately, that ideal fell victim to 2020’s wrath, reinvigorating Shawn’s fear and doubt. Fortunately, Shawn now has time. Time to imagine a future where he’s free to ignore a text or not put the toilet seat down—to cash in on his buddy’s offer of a fake kidnapping and “get [Shawn] out of town.” Like Shawn, we all have a lot of time right now. Time to imagine a world where gaffes aren’t commonplace in the political arena, the economy flourishes, and votes mean more than a middle finger. Don’t read this wrong, Shawn feels bad about being relieved in a time where the majority of people are freaking out about an influx of consequences. Thankfully, like Shawn, we have time to rethink this thing through.
Cover Photo: stock_colors (Getty Images)
More consequences: Local Woman Waits Too Long to Send in Census Forms, Says She Was Holding to See If She Makes It Out Alive First
Young and restless: Young American Forced to Find a Hobby Without Work, Sports and Travel Weighing Him Down
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