“We like Trump because he isn’t an actual politician,” said your aunt and uncle on Thanksgiving Day, 2016. Well, they were right. He’s not. But that doesn’t make him a maverick or gunslinger or an outlaw. It makes him a fucking dumbass who doesn’t know how the Constitution works. He continues to prove this with each word he says, each tweet he somehow writes, and each law he breaks.
The most recent example of this, which many of his critics actually already predicted he would try to do, was a tweet in which he called for the 2020 election to be delayed, due to the coronavirus — a virus which he said, about four months ago, wasn’t a big deal and would disappear within a few weeks.
With Universal Mail-In Voting (not Absentee Voting, which is good), 2020 will be the most INACCURATE & FRAUDULENT Election in history. It will be a great embarrassment to the USA. Delay the Election until people can properly, securely and safely vote???
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 30, 2020
Honestly, we don’t know whether to laugh or cry anymore. Donald Trump is either as narcissistic and sociopathic as even his most ardent critics say, or he is just being deliberately obtuse. Neither is great, and both are scary, because this is the man that is currently running our country. Has a country ever become bankrupt before? Because we’re pretty sure that’s about to happen.
The good news, of course, is that Trump doesn’t actually have the power to “delay” the presidential election. Congress does. And they’re not going to. According to a scathing report in the New York Times, “Election Day was fixed by a federal law passed in 1845, and the Constitution itself in the 20th Amendment specifies that the newly elected Congress meet at noon on Jan. 3, 2021, and that the terms of the president and vice president end at noon on Jan. 20, 2021. Even if President Trump disputed an election he lost, his term would still be over on that day. And if no newly elected president is available, the speaker of the House of Representatives becomes acting president.
President Trump needs to be told by every Republican in Congress that he cannot postpone the federal election. Doing so would be illegal, unconstitutional and without precedent in American history. Anyone who says otherwise should never be elected to Congress again.”
So, yeah. That about covers it. So next time your aunt and uncle decide to pledge their allegiance to America’s bad boy, tell them to sit down, shut up and pass the Brussel sprouts, because we would literally rather eat our veggies on the fattest day of the year than even pretend Trump has the power to delay an election.
Cover Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)
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Weird News 7/21/2020
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Men’s Beards May Have Evolved to Sustain Punches to the Head, Random Study Suggests Scientists Are Running Out of Things to Study
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Louisiana Man Puts the ‘Ass’ in Bass Pro Shop by Swimming in Fish Tank
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San Jose Police Fire Rubber Bullets at Their Own Trainer, Rupturing His Testicle (That’s Nuts)
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Apple Delays iPhone 12 Release, Consumers Expected to Just Use Phone They’ve Had a Whole Year Already
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Ivanka Trump Tells Unemployed Americans to ‘Find Something New,’ Which Is Precisely What We Wish Her Whole Family Would Do
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Dumb as Rocks: Kanye West Photoshops His Face Onto Mount Rushmore
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The Internet Had Its Phallic Way With Ivanka Trump Modeling Goya Beans, Hilarious Tweets Ensued
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Rudy Giuliani Calls NYPD After Being Pranked by Sacha Baron Cohen, Can Only Take a Joke if it Becomes President
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Badass Mother Who Wore Face Mask Through 38-Hour Labor Says ‘If I Can, So Can You’
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Aww Nuts: Squirrel in Colorado Tests Positive for Bubonic Plague Because 2020
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Meanwhile in Florida…Woman Sues for Paternity Test on Goats (But Not for the Reason You Think)
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Trump’s Terrorist Theory of 75-Year-Old Man Shoved by Police Exhibits New Expert Level of Sociopathic Thinking