First things first: your dog doesn’t need a Facebook account. Really, what’s he going to do with it? Private message that poodle from the park? Build a fan base over his sweater collection? Show off his freshly shampooed fur? We clearly don’t see eye-to-eye with Emily Doucet, a 33-year-old Seattle woman who felt the need to create an account on the social media platform for her dog, Max.
Look at this peaceful piece of sh*t pic.twitter.com/qovgZerXUM
— soccerbabe2003 (@realemilyattack) May 8, 2020
Doucet swears she doesn’t use the account often, and we just might believe her, as she recently got locked out of it. Per Facebook’s policy, she was asked to provide Max’s government-issued ID or driver’s license to unlock the account…which she obviously doesn’t have because, hello, Max is a dog and dogs don’t need Facebook accounts. (Have we been over this before?)
“I have no choice but to teach him how to drive,” Doucet tweeted about the request.
When contacted by BuzzFeed, Facebook stated that accounts are for human users only and that owners should create pages for their pets instead. “As noted in the policy rationale, we believe that people are more accountable for their statements and actions when they use their authentic identities, which is why we require that people use the name they go by in everyday life,” Facebook spokesperson Ruchika Budhraja said.
Doucet’s dilemma soon went viral, and the internet came to her rescue, offering doctored doggy driver’s licenses. We say, let’s call the whole thing off. Facebook is enough of a narcissistic humble brag machine without your dog chiming (err…barking) in, too. And, honestly, he just isn’t that cute.
Cover Photo: bmcent1 (Getty Images)
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